Thursday, May 21, 2009

Roller derby? Roller derby!

Roller derby is back in Ottawa! Apparently! I had no idea this was going on, but when an old friend sent me this information I thought I just had to mention it. The Rideau Valley Roller Girls are an all-female roller derby team whose next bout/match/race/fight/whatever is going to be at Barbara Ann Scott arena on May 30th. I'm not sure from reading the press release whether the team name is the Rideau Valley Roller Girls or the Slaughter Daughters. I certainly hope it's the latter. I thought I would put up some portions of the press release here, to whip up some interest in what will likely be an awfully good time on May 30th. Not only that, but some money from every ticket sold is being donated to iSisters technology mentoring.

What is Roller Derby?
Roller Derby is a full-contact sport involving competitive roller skating on four-wheeled skates around an oval track in a counter clockwise direction.

Isn’t Roller Derby fake?
No, Roller derby is a real sport, with real contact. This is NOT pro-wrestling on skates. Our girls train hard and learn how to make effective contact within the rules of the game (no elbowing, back blocking, grabbing, tripping, etc); our skaters learn to give AND to take hard hits. We follow rules set forth by the WFTDA. There is no pre-determined outcome, and there are no staged antics or fake hits.

Well then, isn't it just fighting on roller skates?
No! Though there are bound to be some bad falls and some accidental contact, there are strict rules. Legal blocks allow contact of the hitter’s arm, from shoulder to forearm, to make contact with only the front of her opponent's body, from her neck to her waist. Blockers may also use their bodies to block other skaters. Illegal moves include grabbing, tripping, blocking from behind, elbows to the face and fighting.

And of course, the girls have some colourful names - Semi Precious, Screaming Meanie Massacre, Scotch Minx, Sister Disaster, et al. Lots of fun, I'm sure! Tickets are $10 in advance, $12 at the door, and can be purchased at Barbara Ann Scott, The Candy Store, Five Cents Tattoo, Artguise, Fabgear 64, Spaceman Music and Sounds Unlikely.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Squirrels vs. crows

Do crows eat squirrels? There was a pretty substantial crows-vs.-squirrels battle raging across the street from my house today. My girlfriend was so worried about the possible demise of the cute baby squirrels that she ran over and drove the crows away with rocks. Of course, they soon returned and kept chasing the squirrels around the trunk of the tree. It certainly looked as though the crows were trying to catch the squirrels to eat them, but they were having poor luck. Soon, the mother squirrel (or father - I didn't check the gender) grabbed each of her baby squirrels, one at a time, in her (or his) mouth and fled across the street while being dive-bombed by about four big crows. After some more intervention by my yellow-penguin-pyjama-clad, rock-wielding girlfriend, who was motivated more by the cuteness of the babies than by a desire to intervene in this strange naturally occuring phenomenon, the squirrels made it to safety and the crows left.

So this is my question - answer if you know - do crows actually eat living things? Like, hunt and catch squirrels? I know they eat roadkill and other such carrion, but I have never seen a crow catch anything. Are they half-assed hunters or something? I think maybe they look like they're trying, but really they're kinda inept - like those skateboarders I see outside the local high school who do all kinds of stuff on their skateboards but who have never, ever, in all the time I have passed by and watched, landed a trick. Help me out here folks. Have you ever seen a crow eat a squirrel? Or even catch one? For that matter, have you ever seen a skateboarder land a trick...

Mom got married.

It seems that as soon as I announced my engagement, and the mid-summer wedding date, everyone around me has managed to beat me to the punch. First, Woody announces his engagement, and his date is three weeks before mine. Then, my mom announces hers, and she got married this past weekend. Jen and I drove up to North Bay for the weekend, and I would like to say something funny about the trip...but there isn't much. It was just a nice weekend with a nice small event and ceremony, and that's about it. Congratulations Mom and Larry.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Trailer for Ozzy Osbourne's new movie

Ozzy Osbourne has a new movie coming out...well, it's a documentary about his life as he approaches his 60th birthday. It's called Wreckage Of My Past, and the trailer can be seen here.

New Cynical Cinema reviews today.

Driven to Kill - Steven Seagal!

Lesbian Nation - Documentary!

Waitresses Wanted - Quebec stripper movie!

Top Secret Trial of the Third Reich - Nazi documentary!

Lavender Limelight - Lesbian film maker documentary!

Sole Journey - Activist documentary!

The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance - Classic!

El Dorado - John Wayne!

Kept And Dreamless - Argentina!

Bunny Chow - South Africa!

Russell Brand in New York City - Comedy!

Jo Koy: Don't Make Him Angry - Terrible!

Sesame Street: Elmo and the Bookaneers - Exclamation mark!

Sister Sister Second Season - Alliteration!

Three Days of the Condor (Blu-Ray) - Spy classic!

Changing Lanes (Blu-Ray) - Good Ben Affleck!

The Machinist (Blu-Ray) - Christian Bale is skinny!

Paycheck (Blu-Ray) - Bad Ben Affleck!

Enemy At The Gates (Blu-Ray) - Decent!

Star Trek Original Motion Picture Collection (Blu-Ray) - Khan!

Star Trek Motion Picture Trilogy (Blu-Ray) - Redundant!