Thursday, May 29, 2008

The ridiculous item of the day just got ridiculouser...more ridiculous.

The "ridiculous item of the day" on the Doc and Woody show this morning, at about 6:10, was Rachel Ray. Yes, Rachel Ray, in and of herself, is indeed ridiculous. But that is not what was ridiculous. You see, she is endorsing Dunkin Donuts and appearing in one of their ads. And even though she is a cook on TV, endorsing amazingly fatty foods is not what is ridiculous. In that ad, she wears a scarf. And apparently, some neocons in the States, some absolute maniacs (Bill O'Reilly of course among them) have decided that the scarf she wears in this ad resembles, in a very loose way, a certain kind of scarf worn by Muslims. Muslims, of course, are all terrorists, which means that this scarf is worn only by terrorists. And so Rachel Ray must be stopped. By O'Reilly and his lunatic cohorts. This was our ridiculous item of the day. But it is not what is ridiculous. Or, at least, it is not what is most ridiculous.

We didn't report this at the time, because we were unaware of it, but the TRULY ridiculous thing in all this - Dunkin' Donuts actually pulled the ads. Yanked them off the air. Because of this. THAT is what is ridiculous. Dunkin' Donuts must be as asinine and stupid as the rest of them, and they can cram it with walnuts. Oh, one more ridiculous thing - I only wrote this post to use the word "ridiculous" more times in two paragraphs than anyone ever has before. I can't find stats on that, but when I do, I will post those ridiculous stats here as well.

The Democratic presidential nomination race just got a LOT tighter!

Yep. Ricky Martin, still livin' la vida loca, has just come out with an endorsement of Hilary Clinton. Not even joking here. Well, except for the "tighter" part. That was a joke.

Rolling Stone's top 100 guitar songs.

I put the top twenty guitar songs of all time on Breaking Rock News this morning, but in case anyone wanted the full list, I thought I would write it down here. Some surprises (no Satisfaction, Sympathy For the Devil, Won't Get Fooled Again...), but all in all it's pretty much the list you would expect. Here it is:

1. Johnny B. Goode - Chuck Berry
2. Purple Haze - Jimi Hendrix
3. Crossroads - Cream
4. You Really Got Me - The Kinks
5. Brown Sugar - Rolling Stones
6. Eruption - Van Halen
7. While My Guitar Gently Weeps - The Beatles
8. Stairway To Heaven - Led Zeppelin
9. Statesboro Blues - The Allman Brothers
10. Smells Like Teen Spirit - Nirvana
11. Whole Lotta Love - Led Zeppelin
12. Voodoo Child (Slight Return) - Jimi Hendrix
13. Layla - Derek and the Dominos
14. Born To Run - Bruce Springsteen
15. My Generation - The Who
16. Cowgirl in the Sand - Neil Young
17. Black Sabbath - Black Sabbath
18. Blitzkrieg Bop - The Ramones
19. Purple Rain - Prince and the Revolution
20. People Get Ready - The Impressions
21. Seven Nation Army - The White Stripes
22. A Hard Day's Night - The Beatles
23. Over Under Sideways Down - Yardbirds
24. Killing In The Name - Rage Against The Machine
25. Can't You Hear Me Knocking - The Rolling Stones
26. How Blue Can You Get - B.B. King
27. Look Over Yonders Wall - Paul Butterfield Blues Band
28. Where The Streets Have No Name - U2
29. Back In Black - AC/DC
30. (We're Gonna) Rock Around The Clock - Bill Haley and his Comets
31. Keep Yourself Alive - Queen
32. Sultans of Swing - Dire Straits
33. Master of Puppets - Metallica
34. Walk This Way - Aerosmith
35. 1969 - The Stooges
36. Interstellar Overdrive - Pink Floyd
37. That's All Right - Elvis Presley
38. Stay With Me - The Faces
39. Black Magic Woman - Carlos Santana
40. I Can See For Miles - The Who
41. Marquee Moon - Television
42. Hideaway - John Mayall and the Bluesbreakers
43. Holidays in the Sun - The Sex Pistols
44. Dig Me Out - Sleater-Kinney
45. I Saw Her Standing There - Beatles
46. Miserlou - Dick Dale and the Del-Tones
47. Panama - Van Halen
48. London Calling - The Clash
49. Machine Gun - Jimi Hendrix
50. Debaser - The Pixies
51. Crazy Train - Ozzy Osbourne
52. My Iron Lung - Radiohead
53. Born on the Bayou - Creedence Clearwater Revival
54. Little Wing - Stevie Ray Vaughan
55. White Room - Cream
56. Eight Miles High - Byrds
57. Dark Star - The Grateful Dead
58. Rumble - Link Wray
59. Freeway Jam - Jeff Beck
60. Maggot Brain - Funkadelic
61. Soul Man - Sam and Dave
62. Born Under A Bad Sign - Albert King
63. Sweet Child O' Mine - Guns 'N Roses
64. Freebird - Lynyrd Skynyrd
65. Message In a Bottle - The Police
66. Texas Flood - Stevie Ray Vaughan
67. Adam Raised a Cain - Bruce Springsteen
68. The Thrill is Gone - B.B. King
69. Money - Pink Floyd
70. Bullet With Butterfly Wings - Smashing Pumpkins
71. Take It Or Leave It - The Strokes
72. Say It Ain't So - Weezer
73. Summertime Blues - Blue Cheer
74. La Grange - ZZ Top
75. Willie The Pimp - Frank Zappa
76. American Girl - Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
77. Even Flow - Pearl Jam
78. Stone Crazy - Buddy Guy
79. Silver Rocket - Sonic Youth
80. Kid Charlemagne - Steely Dan
81. Beat It - Michael Jackson
82. Walk - Don't Run - The Ventures
83. What I Got - Sublime
84. Gravity - John Mayer
85. You Enjoy Myself - Phish
86. I Ain't Superstitious - Jeff Beck
87. Red - King Crimson
88. Mona - Quicksilver Messenger Service
89. I Love Rock and Roll - Joan Jett and the Blackhearts
90. How Soon is Now - The Smiths
91. Drunkship of Lanterns - The Mars Volta
92. Memo From Turner - Mick Jagger
93. Only Shallow - My Bloody Valentine
94. Money For Nothing - Dire Straits
95. Omaha - Moby Grape
96. New Day Rising - Husker Du
97. No One Knows - Queens of the Stone Age
98. Under The Bridge - Red Hot Chili Peppers
99. Run Thru - My Morning Jacket
100. Vicarious - Tool

Well, there it is, the full list, in an easy-to-read top-to-bottom format. And I curse Doc for suggesting that I put this on my blog, and making me type all this out with my sore sore hands. For the full list and the Rolling Stone description and reasoning behind each song - go to this website:

Why C10 is scarier than C4.

No, this is not a post about explosives. Well, note entirely about explosives. I just finished watching the new Rambo, which came out on Tuesday - ( and I am thinking about giant explosions and ridiculous body counts and C4. Where Rambo fails completely as a movie, it succeeds remarkably in sheer over-the-top blootletting. Bonkers stuff, and a movie I think many people could easily find offensive. And this is what I'm really writing about. People finding movies offensive. People finding art offensive. And the desire of our current Conservative government to regulate that taste and these endeavours based on their own perceptions. The idea that perhaps they should be the arbiters of taste when it comes to art, and dole out grants accordingly. And thus to ensure that the federal Heritage Department has final say in which films and art get tax credits and which don't.

Here's the thing. They can't have it both ways. Currently, radio stations must play 35 percent Canadian content because the government believes it is the only way to ensure Canadadian musicians have a chance to make it. I could go on at length about this, but briefly, it doesn't work. It creates an environment where the bigger artists get way too much airplay, at the expense of up-and-coming Canadian talent. It actually makes it tougher for good artists. Anyway, this is what the government has always sought to do, whether it works or not. Force Canadiana down the throats of Canadians, regardless of the quality, because everything Canadian must get priority over everything else. And yet now...they want to decide for themselves what "quality" actually means. They want to become the censorship department, the group that will protect us Canadians from ourselves. They would deny funding to projects deemed "offensive", or "not in the public interest". I'll tell you what's not in the public interest. Nickelback. And yet, they are not offensive (to the government). So what does it mean? It really means "offensive", and that's it.

When something artistic is "not in the public interest" due to it's offensive nature, what, really, are the chances the public actually saw it? How many people out there watched Shortbus? Which, while incredibly pornographic, certainly qualified as artistic and worthwhile. But this is the kind of movie they want to sweep away, under the rug. It's the principle here that's scary, the slippery slope toward full-on government censorship of those things that we now take for granted. Sure, we can get behind a program that allows no government funding for racist propaganda or child porn, but isn't that already self-evident? Actually passing a bill to make this happen is insane. All of a sudden, this starts to feel like China. Or like the Bush-style Americans. Crazy maniac far-left-wing, or crazy maniac far-right-wing. Since it is the Harper Conservatives, I will assume it is a crazy maniac far-right-wing idea.

And then they decide people in their government actually need to be fired because they were about to go see a screening of a movie called "Young People F***ing". Which is exactly the kind of movie that Bill C10 would seek to prevent. Which is exactly the reason their party members should go to see it. And yet, they take the tickets that are offered, and they are fired. This just gets more and more neo-con every day. And from all accounts, the film involves no real sex or even nudity. It just has an offensive title. Ironically, the bizarre actions of our government in relation to this film and their staffers are giving it far more publicity than it would ever get otherwise. But it's also bringing a lot of attention to this fight over C10, attention that really needs as much public scrutiny as possible. Because this is a dangerous, scary precedent the government is trying to set here, one that is far scarier and definitely more dangerous than Young People F***ing, Shortbus, or even Rambo.

Monday, May 26, 2008

Aha! Another video!

And here is the last one. It was true - there is indeed a Sunrise boot camp video up, and I was just too foolish to find it. Here it is:

That side-stepping around the circle was without question the toughest part. Also note that I didn't take off my coat until midway through - that really was because it started so fast I didn't have time. As you can tell the ground was also a little wet and slippery. Too bad we missed the part where I dropped that medicine ball and had to chase it - you could have seen my legs give out and my life flash before my eyes. And as you can see, I have to keep answering that darn phone. Thanks Doc and Woody, for making this even tougher.

A video!

Esther assures me that the Sunrise boot camp video is up on youtube somewhere, but I have so far been too feeble-minded to discover it's location on my own. The video from Mark Hatfield's training camp IS up, however, and it comes in two parts! Here are the links to me being fat and out of shape:

OK. It's in just one part. I really don't know what I'm doing. Mark seems to know, however. And next to him, I look even more gargantuan and flabby. I wish he had finished that Dan Marino story on the video.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Beer is the new cereal.

When I was opening my case of Budweiser on Saturday night, I discovered a hat. Another glorious new hat, to replace the RCMP one I've been wearing since I did the RCMP day, which replaced the Habs hat I got when I traded a guy for my CHEZ hat, which replaced my Gearhead hat that I got when I broke into their store, which replaced the Dewalt hat I got when I hosted Toolfest...anyway. It's one of those irritating trucker hats that really aren't cool any more, with the old-school snap backs and the pre-ripped brim for that lived-in look. Irritating, but I'll probably wear it.

And then it occurred to me. Beer is the new cereal. When I was a kid, there were some pretty solid toys in cereal boxes. Now, when we get cereal for the kids, the boxes no longer contain cool toys. They have website codes, so you can go to the Nabisco website and help the poor lost Shreddie find his way through the hungry fish-mouths to safely join the frosted Mini-Wheat in the Garden Of Deliciousness. Or something like that. Or, they have word searches and mazes printed onto the backs of the boxes. Which is awfully cheap and lame. Now it is only beer where the generation that grew up with prizes in cereal can actually get something worthwhile. Hats, movies, T-shirts, glasses. It's the only place you can do that now! Here is a cartoon that explains the sad state of today's cereal toys better: