Friday, May 8, 2009

Because Star Trek is out in full release today...

I thought I would compile a series of William Shatner fight scenes. Let's start with the best one ever...that slow-moving guy with the green monster head and the foam rocks.

OK, now how about that famous but ludicrous scene where Kirk fights Spock?

And an amusing video where Shatner fights everyone...

I can't find that fight where Shatner fights himself in Star Trek VI, or was it Star Trek V...I can't remember, they all run together. So instead, I will put this in...because I can't get enough Shatner-on-Shatner violence, here is the final, powerful scene from the atrocious 1960s western White Comanche:

OK. That's all the Shatner fighting I can handle. Enjoy Star Trek!

Manny Ramirez?

What surprised me most about this was how surprised I was by this. Now there's one guy left - Albert Pujols. I guess I'm still giving him the benefit of the doubt like I did Manny.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

What gives?

On the O'Reilly Factor show I PVR'd a few days ago, he did that smug thing he always does at the end of the show, where he looks extremely self-satisfied and says a Word that People Might Not Know. His quote is always about his emails, and he always says something along the lines of "when writing to me, please do not be ______", and then he smirks and looks smug. A couple of days ago, he said "please do not be mendacious", then went on for some time about how He, Himself, is occasionally "mendacious", but he is occasionally driven to it, but that His viewers ought to try NOT to be "mendacious" even though He Himself sometimes is. How come no one has brought this up? How come no one has made fun of this? All the Olbermans I've PVR'd this week have apparently ignored this genius tidbit from Billo the Clown. He admits - that every now and then - he lies? On his show? Where are the left-wing anti-Billo loonies on this one? Maybe they tune out before he gets to his bag of idiot email. Made me laugh though.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Also hilarious.

When The Onion is good, it's fantastic. Especially when it's dead-on!

Terrific! Star Trek hits theatres on Friday!

Totally hilarious.

This may be the funniest take on FOX News since Jon Stewart examined Bill O'Reilly's tendency to bash the paparazzi for their aggressive tactics (leave Angelina Jolie alone!) while sending out his own bizarre producers to stalk people who criticized him...then the whole thing reached critical mass when he was criticized by...Angelina Jolie...and his stalker producer fought through the paparazzi to harass her. But that was brief and priceless. This is seven and a half minutes of utter hilarity. Charlie Brooker is magnificent!

I'm watching O'Reilly on the PVR right now as I type this - because he is almost as funny himself as the clip - and, amazingly, he didn't take total credit for Jon Stewart apologizing for calling Truman a war criminal! Maybe he's becoming more self-aware...and as such less funny...I hope not. Oh - scratch that. He's comparing himself to Jack Bauer again, and playing clips of Janeane Garofalo's lip quivering. On the TV show. 24. Take that, actress! Good to see O'Reilly hasn't lost his...unique...sense of perspective.

Cynical Cinema new reviews today

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Last Chance Harvey

A Plumm Summer

Jake And The Fatman Season Two

Jon And Kate Plus Eight Season Three

Dexter Season Two, Blu-Ray

Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Blu-Ray

Grease, Blu-Ray

Saturday Night Fever, Blu-Ray