Thursday, April 30, 2009

Coolest trailer in a long time.

You know Anvil, right? The heavy band from Canada, the marginal act who have managed to stay around for years? Well, maybe, maybe not. But they are real, and they are a band. And they are Anvil. I am telling you this because many people who watch the following trailer remember This Is Spinal Tap very well. And so many people who watch the following trailer think that this is a mockumentary about a fake band. When Spinal Tap came out, people thought they were a real band and it was a real documentary. Apparently, it has been so successful at this that the impressions of movie-goers are now the exact opposite. Anyway, here's the trailer:

With Slash, and Lemmy, and Lars Ulrich, how could Anvil be fake? They are real, this is real, and it's coming to the Mayfair at the end of May - Friday Saturday and Sunday the 29th, 30th, and 31st. And speaking of the Mayfair - Cynical Cinema really recommends Ms. 45, coming to the theatre at 11:45 p.m. on Saturday May 9th. Check it out!

Downchild petition

Because people want the Downchild Blues Band on Canada's Walk of Fame. And I just like 'em.

Sign your name, put them on the Walk of Fame!

Because I love dreadful things

I like Heaven & Hell. Well, Black Sabbath. Well, they were Black Sabbath, even though Ozzy was gone, and they did two albums as Black Sabbath, and then didn't change their lineup but did change their name, and recorded an album as Heaven & Hell called The Devil You Know, which came out Tuesday. Basically, they're Sabbath with Ronnie James Dio instead of Ozzy. Anyway, the first song with a video from that album is called "Bible Black". I also like King Crimson. They had an album called Starless And Bible Black. It sucked. It had little to do with this song. The video for this song also sucks. Watch it suck here:

Tony Iommi, the legendary guitar player who was once in the Ozzy Sabbath and is now in the Dio Heaven & Hell, agrees. He says this video is "bloody awful". He is right. It is bloody awful.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009


That last-second stunner in the Carolina-Devisl Game Seven was incredible. 1:30 to go, and the Devils looked to be cruising into the second round. Then Jokinen and Staal stun them, and end a terrifically entertaining Game Seven. But it didn't matter, really. Now what? The Hurricanes get to move on to Round 2, where they will be crushed by Boston in four or five games. Big deal.

But how about that Capitals series? That might have been the absolute best first-round series I have seen since I started watching hockey. TSN had the rights to the Hockey Night in Canada theme song for the first time, and I had my fingers crossed that it would get played before a series that was worthy. The Caps-Rangers series was worthy, and then some. What didn't those seven games have?

First of all, you had Alex Ovechkin, the Most Popular Player in Hockey, going up against Sean Avery, the Least Popular Man In All Of Sports. Outside dyed-in-the-wool Rangers fans, was there anyone out there cheering for New York to win this series? Did anyone really want to see Sean Avery in the second round of the playoffs, and NOT Ovechkin? Maybe Don Cherry...I bet Cherry was sitting home fuming about Ovechkin's excessive celebration after Federov's winning goal in Game Seven. Cursing under his breath. "Geez kid. You won Game Seven. Big deal. Act like you've done it before."

But it wasn't just Ovechkin and Avery. Sure, Ovechkin was the best skater on the ice for all seven games, and Avery did some pretty stupid things and got himself benched. But the goalies were a huge story also. On the Washington side, you had a controversy - Theodore, with experience, or Varlamov, who might actually be good. In the end, they went with Varlamov, which proved to be the right call. On the other side, Lundqvist simply had a magnificent series. The Capitals won four games, Lundqvist won three. A case could be made that this was the first ever seven-game series where a team didn't lose a single game. Three were stolen by a goalie on fire.

Then there was the bizarre drama around Tortorella and his fight with that fan, throwing water and threatening him with a stick and having to be held back and then being suspended for a game. And of course that big comeback from being down 3-1. When the Caps were down 3-1, though, was there anyone who thought they were done? I doubt it. San Jose was down 3-1 to the Ducks, and we all knew it was over. When the Sharks won Game 5, we knew it was just prolonging the inevitable. When the Caps won Game 5, they all of a sudden were the favourites in the series again. All kinds of hard-hitting, all kinds of scoring chances, and spectacular goaltending right through the seventh game. An amazing series.

I found myself cheering for Washington, even though it would have been better for me in my pool had they lost. I'm way down in the playoff pool now (thanks mostly to the fact that I picked a lot of Boston and Detroit players, and you can't get too many points in four games), and most of the people ahead of me have a fair number of Capitals on their teams. But boy, am I glad not to see Avery any more, and what's better than an Ovechkin - Crosby series? Judging by this first round, probably nothing.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

New Cynical Cinema today.

Because I want to figure out how to embed links...I'm giving this a go.

New releases April 28th (A full listing of all movies and Blu-Rays out today)

Hotel For Dogs

The Uninvited

Battle In Seattle

Le Grand Depart (Honey, I'm In Love)

Affaire De Famille

Toute La Beaute Du Monde

Romeo Et Juliette / Aurore Double Feature

Monica La Mitraille (Machine Gun Molly) / Dans L'Oeil Du Chat (In The Eye of the Cat) Double Feature

Ron White: Behavioural Problems

Elmo And Friends: Tales of Adventure

Mission: Impossible Season Six

Star Trek, the Original Series Season One on Blu-Ray works! I can embed links! All the movies listed above come out on DVD today.


Many people have been asking where to find the petition that was the subject of Randall's One Minute Moore commentary yesterday, about the guidelines set out by the ministry of education here in Ontario, and about the new policy forcing teachers to give sub-par students a passing grade. Here it is:

Go there to sign it!

Monday, April 27, 2009

Crazy NASCAR crash

This is just about the craziest finish to a NASCAR race ever. Carl Edwards loses it on the last turn, gets bumped, and flies through the air, injuring eight spectators, several of whom have to be airlifted to the hospital. Then - hahaha - he gets out of the wrecked car and runs across the finish line, Will Ferrell Talladega Nights style. I bet he's sure glad no one died...

Then, of course, in his post-race comments he says that only when someone dies will they change the NASCAR rules - like the ones about bumping or whatever it is they do that caused this. How about, instead of that, they not have fans sitting three feet from the track behind a chain link fence? I'm amazed fans don't die at every race! What a strange "sport".