Friday, February 6, 2009

Best KISS song ever? Hilarious video.

Even better than that one that was good enough to be ripped off by the Boss!

Proof once again that when it comes to KISS, the music itself is irrelevant. The entertainment is all in the makeup.

I still hate the Junos more...

This is the up-to-date, so-far announced lineup of artists who will perform at the Grammys (for real):

Paul McCartney (w/ Dave Grohl)
Kid Rock
Bruce Springsteen
Carrie Underwood
Jennifer Hudson
Jonas Brothers
Katy Perry
Lil' Wayne
Kenny Chesney
Justin Timberlake
Kanye West
Stevie Wonder
Neil Diamond
Robert Plant & Alison Krauss
Smokey Robinson
Terence Blanchard
Allen Toussaint
Robin Thicke
Buddy Guy, B.B. King, Keith Urban and John Mayer (together in a Bo Diddley tribute)
Miley Cyrus
Taylor Swift
Chris Brown
Ne-Yo, Duke Fakir, Jamie Foxx (together in a Four Tops tribute)

Even assuming they all play in groups of three (which they won't), and keep their performances under three minutes each (which they won't), this "ceremony", or "giant piece of crap" will last fourteen hours without time for the awards.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

The best thing Joe Satriani has ever done?

OK. I know I'm going to get a complaint or two from a rabid Satriani fan out there somewhere. Well, probably. But although I have the occasional impetus to put Surfing With The Alien on my turntable, those moments are rare and for the most part I prefer to ignore the man. Supreme speed and incredible musicianship on the guitar do very little for me in that the sheer act of virtuosity can occasionally sap the music of it's soul. The same could be said for many classical performers (late-career Glenn Gould, or even *gasp* our very own Angela Hewitt). And Satriani isn't even kind enough to go over-the-top with his music, such that he enters the realm of the ridiculous and the campy and the hilarious, a la Yngwie Malmsteen.

So until today, I thought that the greatest contribution Satriani had made to music was Surfing With the Alien, and therefore it was a modest and fairly insignificant contribution, overall. Until today. You see, Satriani is suing Coldplay for copyright infringement. Some song they wrote sounds like some song he wrote. Or maybe they never wrote it at all. They just copied it. And for a few months now, Satriani's lawyer has been trying to serve Coldplay with papers, but the band keeps ducking the process servers. And now they are going to play at the Grammys - (they have been nominated for their Joe Satriani song). And the process servers now know where they will be and at what time. So they plan to serve them at the Grammys. And although I suspect FOX News to be a little inaccurate in reporting this rumour - it doesn't, really, make a lot of sense - Coldplay is considering NOT playing the Grammys because of the process servers. Seriously. FOX News said so. I find this unlikely, but if it DOES happen, it is the best thing Joe Satriani ever did for music. Not that it affects me. Not like I'll be watching the Grammys.

Is there something...ironic...or sad...about this?

Dairy Crest announced yesterday that sales of their butter brand Country Life have spiked. Sales have risen 83 percent since Country Life began using spokesman John Lydon in their TV commercials. Yes...that John Lydon...of the Sex Pistols. I don't know what really irks me about this. I'm trying to put my finger on it. It isn't that Johnny Rotten has sold out. He sold out a long time ago and he's been a money-grubbing douche for years. So that doesn't bother me. It bothers me maybe a little that a butter company would choose him for their spokesman, but I knew this a long time ago and didn't feel the need to comment on it then. So it can't be that. I think it has something to do with the fact that it worked. Here's a guy who represents all that is punk - not selling out, non-conformity, spitting in the eye of authority...his real, hardcore fans can't be the ones buying this butter, because they will be angry that he sold out...and the others probably don't like him to begin with...and then there's me. I'm a hardcore fan of the Sex Pistols, and I don't like John me out here. What, exactly, sucks about this? Is it ironic? Sad? Distasteful? Pathetic? Crass? Oh, here's the commercial - it does need to be watched first:

OK. Now tell me what sucks about that so I can sleep tonight.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Bruce Springsteen? Ripped off KISS? Come on...

Suggesting that Bruce Springsteen ripped off KISS is like saying you suspect Barack Obama of plagiarising his inauguration speech from pages written by George Bush. But then again, this guy seems to think it may be so...check out this youtube mashup:

A bit of a dubious connection, but not that far off! Frankly though, if Springsteen allowed a KISS song to slip into his subconscious while writing this new tune, I will curl up in a ball and cry a little bit.

Weight loss through brute force, week two. The recap.

I don't have a computer at home right now, which is why I have been slow in blogging over the past few days. I am now in at work very early, however, so I can write a bit before the show begins. And I have yet to write about my weight loss program, which seems to be going quite well. I can't take credit for the name. It was either Doc or Woody who came up with the "Weight Loss Through Brute Force" moniker, but I like it so I am adopting it. Because this is exactly what I plan to do. I am no fan of diets. I am no fan of watching what one eats. And I am especially not keen to become one of those people who can discuss, at length and ad nauseum, the benefits of polyunsaturated hydrocarbs, and supercalifgragilipids. I have a firm suspicion that everyone who touts the merits of one lifestyle over another is big on inventing words to make themselves sound smarter.

Not only that, I am also convinced that if you find one person who recommends one diet, you can also find one equally-qualified person who will recommend the exact opposite diet. On the one hand, you should eat a lot of eggs, because they're high in protein. On the other, you should never ever touch an egg because they are so jammed with cholesterol. (Yes, that egg council creep got to me too.) So I say screw it. I will eat what I please. And I will lose weight through excercise alone. All it takes is a willingness to work really hard and ignore pain. I'd rather do those things than eat vitamin pills and protein shakes, that's for sure.

So I started out on my own. I started slow, so as not to shock my body and die early on, with a few weights and the rowing machine in my basement. Two weeks ago, I started with some light dumb-bell lifting while watching a movie or TV, and then I would go downstairs to do 2,000 metres on the ergometer (rowing machine). It wasn't much - it took me about 8-10 minutes to do 2,000 metres, depending on how tired I was. Then I started to amp it up, over the past two weeks. I have now discovered I am comfortable with 10,000 metres on the rowing machine, and more weights. This now means that my workouts, overall, are about an hour and a half - 45 minutes of weights, and then 45-50 minutes on the rowing machine.

Of course, however, that was not enough. Doc and Woody signed me up for some external training as well. I'm now doing the Greco Lean & Fit program three times a week - Monday, Wednesday and Friday. And that's intense. 45 minutes each time, and each time there are different excercises. Eight different stations, and you do a certain amount of time at each one and then a whistle blows and you move on to the next. There is a whole class of people doing it with me, so I am even more exposed when I sissy out and flop to the floor. Frankly, I could do without the peppy guys with the whistles yelling encouragement at me, and were it up to me, I would request better music in the background. But either way, when I'm done and I leave the place, I feel amazing for the rest of the day.

So the only reason I'm doing this, really, is because of this workplace losing-weight challenge. Everyone puts in 20 bucks, and then whoever loses the most weight at the end of the 10 weeks gets the money. Or something. Frankly, I just think I could use the money. And I figure I can out-work anyone, over a ten-week period. Not only that, but when I win this office challenge, I will then write a book. I will call it Losing Weight Through Brute Force: How I won a wokplace challenge and continued to eat pizza. I will become the next weight-loss guru, and become as famous as that Atkins guy. At least, that's my plan. The Greco guys and girls expressed a little shock when they saw what I've been eating, but I am still second overall in the workplace weight-loss challenge, and I plan to finish in first by a mile. I have lost 7.5 pounds in two weeks, second only to a guy who has lost eight pounds. Book deal, here I come. Take that, Jared from Subway.

Porn and the Super Bowl

What a Super Bowl! One of the best games I've ever seen, and although I was pulling for Arizona, I just loved watching such a great game. However, not everyone was watching the same thing - I had one of the higher channels in HD that gave me the American feed, so I was watching with American commercials (including the ones in 3-D - I dug up some 3-D glasses, but we couldn't tell the difference). Some of my friends watched the Canadian feed, which meant several commercials for Corner Gas and still more for Rogers products of one kind or another. And then there were the people in Arizona, who were on the edge of their seats as Larry Fitzgerald broke free for what looked to be a 64-yard touchdown in the fourth quarter, as their Cardinals were about to take the lead, and...the game froze, and a hardcore porn movie came up on their screens. Not just for a quick flash, like in Fight Club, and not for a brief three seconds either. This is like a full 30 seconds of porn - here is the Arizona Comcast station broadcasting the game:

Now, I realize that when you go to youtube at that link, you'll have to either log in, if you're a youtube member, or sign up, if you aren't. Sorry about that. Why it would matter, I have no idea, since they have giant black marks covering all the naked stuff anyway. So who cares if you watch it, or if you're 18? Anyone is old enough to see this. This wouldn't even come with one of those NSFW tags. Well, unless it didn't have those big Censor marks on it.

Oh, and the really funny thing? Not that someone pulled this prank on the people in Arizona at that exact time in the game, and not that Comcast has apologized - it's this. Comcast is sending each of their subscribers who do not have high definition ten dollars. (Apparently, if they had the HD feed, they didn't get this porn.) I wonder, is it really ten dollars, or is it $9.99? Are they actually sending everyone who watched this the same amount of money they would have had to pay to order the porn in the first place? Does that actually make any sense?