Wednesday, July 22, 2009

New Cynical Cinema reviews

Because I haven't had time since my vacation to do anything else...

Coraline - A really cool movie from the same guy who directed The Nightmare Before Christmas (no, not Tim Burton). Fantasy, cool kids, great voices and stop-motion animation in 3-D. Very good.

Carmen and Geoffrey - Apparently, there are two very well-known dancers named Carmen de Lavallade and Geoffrey Holder, who have been married forever and are well-known. What's nice is that, at the age of 71, Carmen de Lavallade is still remarkably attractive. Dancers age gracefully, it would appear.

The Lucy Show, Season One - Lucille Ball did more than just I Love Lucy. Go figure. This one's OK, but it reminds me of that sitcom Ellen DeGeneres did a few years back. And that's not always a good thing.

Echelon Conspiracy - You know those movies where the computer becomes self-aware and decides to kill everyone and take over the world? This is one...there are explosions and gunfights and car chases. But we all know it's all going to boil down to one nerd sitting at a computer and typing the Big Computer into submission.

This American Life, Season Two - A surprisingly entertaining show about quirky characters from small-town America. It's what On The Road Again could have been. If it wasn't so schmaltzy and Rostad-y.

Spongebob Squarepants: To Squarepants or not to Squarepants - Still the best kids show on TV. Maybe ever. This particular volume features a ton of pus, and the phrase "yay! Chocolate rain!"

The Color of Magic - A British miniseries about an inept wizard and a fantasy-world tourist. Goes on forever. Painful, but Tim Curry is lots of fun.

A Crime - Harvey Keitel is seduced by Emmanuelle Beart (who is still sensationally hot, and often naked, at 41) in an elaborate plan that will eventually allow her to seduce Norman Reedus. Whereupon she will get naked again. Beart is the hottest, freakiest psycho-chick ever.

Bad Lieutenant - Because I still had the review kicking around from years ago, and Harvey Keitel made me think of it. Love this movie.

Van Wilder: Freshman Year - one of the worst movies I have seen in a long time. The original Van Wilder was awful, but Ryan Reynolds was amazing in it. This is pretty much a scene-for-scene remake, only with some tool instead of Reynolds. Which makes it dreadful.

The State, Complete series - An old MTV sketch-comedy show that only lasted a couple of years. Worked better as a launching pad for some decent careers than it did as a sketch comedy show. Great bonus disc though.

I Now Pronounce You Chuck And Larry - Because it just came out on Blu-Ray. But Blu-Ray or regular DVD or VHS or laserdisc, this movie would still be absolutely abysmal.

1 comment:

  1. Great Blog, Eric! We love CHEZ!

    We're movie-buffs to the extreme, check out our site www.cinemaobsessed.com for info on upcoming movies, and throwbacks to some old classics!

    Hope to hear from you!

    Angie and Chantale
    www.cinemaobsessed.com
    cinemaobsessed@hotmail.com

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