Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Weight loss through brute force, week two. The recap.

I don't have a computer at home right now, which is why I have been slow in blogging over the past few days. I am now in at work very early, however, so I can write a bit before the show begins. And I have yet to write about my weight loss program, which seems to be going quite well. I can't take credit for the name. It was either Doc or Woody who came up with the "Weight Loss Through Brute Force" moniker, but I like it so I am adopting it. Because this is exactly what I plan to do. I am no fan of diets. I am no fan of watching what one eats. And I am especially not keen to become one of those people who can discuss, at length and ad nauseum, the benefits of polyunsaturated hydrocarbs, and supercalifgragilipids. I have a firm suspicion that everyone who touts the merits of one lifestyle over another is big on inventing words to make themselves sound smarter.


Not only that, I am also convinced that if you find one person who recommends one diet, you can also find one equally-qualified person who will recommend the exact opposite diet. On the one hand, you should eat a lot of eggs, because they're high in protein. On the other, you should never ever touch an egg because they are so jammed with cholesterol. (Yes, that egg council creep got to me too.) So I say screw it. I will eat what I please. And I will lose weight through excercise alone. All it takes is a willingness to work really hard and ignore pain. I'd rather do those things than eat vitamin pills and protein shakes, that's for sure.


So I started out on my own. I started slow, so as not to shock my body and die early on, with a few weights and the rowing machine in my basement. Two weeks ago, I started with some light dumb-bell lifting while watching a movie or TV, and then I would go downstairs to do 2,000 metres on the ergometer (rowing machine). It wasn't much - it took me about 8-10 minutes to do 2,000 metres, depending on how tired I was. Then I started to amp it up, over the past two weeks. I have now discovered I am comfortable with 10,000 metres on the rowing machine, and more weights. This now means that my workouts, overall, are about an hour and a half - 45 minutes of weights, and then 45-50 minutes on the rowing machine.


Of course, however, that was not enough. Doc and Woody signed me up for some external training as well. I'm now doing the Greco Lean & Fit program three times a week - Monday, Wednesday and Friday. And that's intense. 45 minutes each time, and each time there are different excercises. Eight different stations, and you do a certain amount of time at each one and then a whistle blows and you move on to the next. There is a whole class of people doing it with me, so I am even more exposed when I sissy out and flop to the floor. Frankly, I could do without the peppy guys with the whistles yelling encouragement at me, and were it up to me, I would request better music in the background. But either way, when I'm done and I leave the place, I feel amazing for the rest of the day.


So the only reason I'm doing this, really, is because of this workplace losing-weight challenge. Everyone puts in 20 bucks, and then whoever loses the most weight at the end of the 10 weeks gets the money. Or something. Frankly, I just think I could use the money. And I figure I can out-work anyone, over a ten-week period. Not only that, but when I win this office challenge, I will then write a book. I will call it Losing Weight Through Brute Force: How I won a wokplace challenge and continued to eat pizza. I will become the next weight-loss guru, and become as famous as that Atkins guy. At least, that's my plan. The Greco guys and girls expressed a little shock when they saw what I've been eating, but I am still second overall in the workplace weight-loss challenge, and I plan to finish in first by a mile. I have lost 7.5 pounds in two weeks, second only to a guy who has lost eight pounds. Book deal, here I come. Take that, Jared from Subway.

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