Monday, January 5, 2009

Today's BRN.

The famed London Astoria is closing down, and they want the Who to play the final show at the venue. Which is great, but they make a real point of saying they want someone cool to play, and not one of those "TV pop star" groups or people. No Britney, they say! I believe this may be just their way of saying "we once had S Club 7 performing here. And we're sorry."

John Lennon once rejected a medal from the Queen, making him a Member of the British Empire. These medals, I think, are much like our own Order of Canada medals. He received his (along with the rest of that band he was in) in 1965, and returned it in 1969. He figured it was a symbol of him having "sold out to the man". A quaint notion these days, where big-time musicians can no longer sell out, at all, since by their very nature they start out as sellouts. Only the old guard can still sell out. Bob Dylan, Bruce Springsteen, Neil Young. They are pretty much the only ones left. Oh, someone found that medal in some trunk in Buckingham Palace. Or something. That's the story.

Robert Plant is the greatest Rock Singer Ever, according to a poll by Some Organization Out There. More polls, more lists, more news...I could have one of these stories on Breaking Rock News every day, because there is a new poll and a new list every day. I put this story up only because Paul Rodgers was a surprise #3, and because Axl Rose was #7, and because Neil Young was shockingly left off the list.

Tommy Lee enjoys the naked. Who doesn't? He has a rule that states no one can get into his dressing room at shows unless they remove one article of clothing. They must be either topless or bottomless to gain entry to the room. All of which is fine, but is this really news? Tommy Lee likes boobies? This ranks up there with The Pope Is Catholic and Pierre Polievre Is A Douche as the most obvious headlines of all time. I once had a policy similar to this one. No one was allowed into my apartment with pants on. I was so lonely...

The top tours in the world in 2008 were Bon Jovie and Springsteen. The top North American tours are...Bon Jovi and Springsteen. And the Eagles and the Police. The website that provided me with this gem is a respected classic-rock only website. And therefore it didn't tell me which act was #1. The Eagles were the top one at #3. I could have searched and searched to find the numbers they were quoting. In fact, I could have done so easily. I am going to guess the number one and two acts are Celine Dion and Madonna. And I refuse to look that up, because it will make me cry.

Gene Simmons is going to provide his own voice a Nickelodeon cartoon where he will be a cartoon stop-motion Gene Simmons. Only Gene Simmons could have a cartoon stop-motion version of himself where he could earn extra money by voicing it. This one - no joke - is a cartoon about a dentist and his family who travel around America in a motor home. That reminds me - did MC Hammer voice himself on that MC Hammer cartoon from my youth? And were the Pro-Stars actually voiced by the Pro-Stars? These are the things I think about while I type other things.

Lou Reed has recorded a couple of live albums with a trio called the Metal Machine Trio. The albums, modestly named "The Creation Of The Universe", are instrumental. Although I love what Reed did with his album Metal Machine Music, I think perhaps naming a trio after that album may not be the best idea. That album, you see, although it is awesome, is unlistenable. It is four tracks, about 20 minutes each, of guitar feedback. And that's about it. Now, one would likely not form a trio in order to crank up some three-way guitar feedback, but it's Lou Reed. Who knows. But it isn't a great place to start with the name, even if you are offering it for download for eight bucks. Oh, put Reed on that list of those who have yet to sell out too. Here is the place to get those 8-dollar downloads:

If anyone does indeed download these, let me know if they're cool. I can't because I have no credit card. Also, I'm scared.

Jerry Garcia's estate is being sued by Merl Saunders' estate. Saunders, a keyboard player, was a frequent Grateful Dead collaborator, and in 2004, the Garcia estate put out a Garcia-Saunders live album they discovered, apparently without consulting the Saunders estate. I guess the Saunders folk just discovered it now, four years later? And it has sold well enough that they feel comfortable suing for $100,000? That is all plausible. Also plausible, if one considers heaven to be plausible, is the idea that Garcia and Saunders are, right now, arm-in-arm, looking down and going "haha. Estates."

Robert Plant has been named (by the Queen) a Commander of the Order of the British Empire. I don't know if this is a higher or lower or equal or different honour than the Member of the British Empire award that was bestowed upon John Lennon in 1969. I doubt Plant is planning to return his medal, should he get one. But let's go ahead and add him to the list of enduring rock stars who have yet to sell out anyway. (Jimmy Page, on the other hand, has indeed sold out. Remember that remix of "Kashmir" from the Godzilla soundtrack with P. Diddy, who at the time was named Puff Daddy? Or Puffy? Or Puff the Magic Combs? Or what have you? Sell OUT.)

Okay. I looked it up. It is the same thing as the Order of the British Empire. But more prestigious and cool. And it is also the same thing as a knighthood, but a little lower down the rungs of power. Sir Paul McCartney, still more important to the Queen than Commander Robert Plant. Even though Sir Paul has sold out.

1 comment:

  1. Merl Saunders was a musical partner of Jerry Garcia for a bunch of years but he was barely a once-a-decade Grateful Dead collaborator.