Friday, January 2, 2009

BRN today...first of the new year.

Jade Jagger is going to make some music. I suppose when you are the scion of a famous and rich individual such as Mick, you can pretty much do as you will. Which is fine. But it makes me laugh when I read about her "production company". The main idea behind Jezebel is a "lifestyle concept" actually called Jezebel (Jade's middle name...JJJ, get it?) that "fuses music, clothing, and lifestyle through original recordings, remixes, unplugged sessions, and fashion." So...she's basically a life coach. Like, wear these clothes, listen to this remix of Owner Of A Lonely Heart, put on this perfume, and you will be happy. It worked for me! Why anyone would follow this kind of advice from someone like Jade Jagger is beyond me. I'm sure she's a very warm, nice, terrific person. But of course it worked for you! You have never had to do anything. Ever. There is nothing in the world, except perhaps (and only perhaps) murder that wouldn't work for you! Can't wait to hear the "some tracks" she's gonna lay down.

The BBC has yanked an interview they did with Paul McCartney, because they are frightened to broadcast the remarks he made about Michael Jackson. It's no secret that McCartney hasn't exactly been friendly with the King Of Pop since Jackson spent 48 million bucks buying the Beatles' entire catalogue, and McCartney had to pay him money every time he performed "Let It Be" or "Get Back". Or any other song, for that matter. The story says, however, that the main reason the BBC pulled the interview was that McCartney's impression of Jackson was "trans-racial". What does that mean? Isn't Jackson himself "trans-racial"? And in that case, this impression must have been bang-on...unless I drastically misunderstand what "trans-racial" means.

Rolling Stone has come up with a month-by-month list of the biggest rock-news stories of the year. Of course, most involve Britney Spears in some way. My personal favourite remains the Roger Waters incident, where he lost his giant inflatable pig, and it flew across the state before coming to rest in pieces in several different driveways. It went on the lam! OK...that's enough.

The Hard Rock Park in Myrtle Beach, Florida declared bankruptcy in September, and although it is valued at about $400 million, it has found no takers at an auction for it's minimum-bid asking price of $35 million. If they don't find a buyer, they will not open in 2009. There is nothing funny about this story.

There is a lot that is funny about this one, though. A couple of days ago, a spokesperson for Guns N Roses commented in an online forum that Lars Ulrich of Metallica was the reason the newest video for the song "Better" was being held up. Now, a couple of days later, he is denying that story entirely, saying he was "just joking". Thereby denying the rumour that he himself started. In other Guns N Roses news, Richard Fortus, their current guitarist, is denying the rumours that...he himself started. Interviewed a couple of days ago, he said that a GNR tour behind Chinese Democracy would begin in March and last two years. Now he says he was misquoted, and that people were hearing only what they wanted to hear. Which is fine, except that this was exactly what he said.

What this means, as far as I can tell, is that there is a top-down philospohy in the Guns N Roses organization, which I imagine begins with Axl himself, that says nobody talks about the band. Like a Fight Club sort of scenario. The first rule of Guns N Roses is that there IS no Guns N Roses. And if you go off the reservation with your comments, if you acknowledge the existence of the band or speak about them in any way, they will come down hard on you and force you to retract your statements. With this kind of organizational paranoia and hush-hush secrecy, is it any wonder Chinese Democracy has been selling poorly? Are we, the public, even supposed to know that it's been released? Was that a big secret too? Does Dr. Pepper even exist? All I know for sure is that I was right to be skeptical about that story a couple of days ago!

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