Monday, December 22, 2008

Breaking Rock News today.

Some exciting stuff today...not really.

Paul McCartney warns fans not to expect "another Strawberry Fields" when he releases the never-before-heard Beatles track "Carnival of Light" soon. He says, it's not for everyone, and many or most people will not like it. Even George Harrison hated it, making sure it was kept off an earlier Beatles anthology. So why release it? Because people will buy anything "Beatles", including the Fab Four Farting Into A Paper Bag. And judging by the faint praise surrounding this track, that might well be exactly what we are going to get.

Steven Adler, former drummer for Guns N Roses, is back in rehab. He told the judge he was going to be appearing on Celebrity Rehab With D.r Douche, but the judge felt that reality-shows notwithstanding, Adler needed to be forcibly thrust into rehab. He was going along so well until he heard Chinese Democracy, and then that Dr. Pepper "fiasco" drove him to drink again...

Speaking of Axl Rose, Adler's "people" said that his dream is to get clean, sober up, and reunite with the old band for a monster tour. And Axl Rose's "people" (most of whom are apparently lawyers) said that Axl will never, ever, under any circumstances, work with any former members of Guns N Roses. Ever. Never. Which is a bit of a problem - in the 15 years it took to make that stupid album, he worked, from what I understand, with every single person in the entire music industry, including Fred Durst and most of Britney Spears' backup dancers. So...doesn't that make every person in the music industry a "former member of Guns N Roses"? And therefore, hasn't Axl ruled out ever working in music again? Perhaps that's for the best...

Youtube is yanking off a bunch of musicians. Well, you know what I mean. Actually, it's Warner who is yanking them off youtube. Apparently there is a dispute over the royalties and the payments and the so on and so forth. So no more Zeppelin videos, Clapton videos, Grateful Dead videos. Or Madonna videos, if you're into that.

Robert Plant is planning another album with Alison Krauss. Raising Sand was great, and I'm actually vrey excited about this prospect. Of course, every announcement Plant ever makes has to come in conjunction with another denial about the reunion of that other band he was once in...I have an idea. Why doesn't someone suggest to him that he re-unite the New Yardbirds?

April Wine is being awarded the Lifetime Achievement Award and being inducted into the Canadian Music Industry Hall Of Fame in March at some fancy hotel in Toronto. Each member of the veteran band will be given a Canadian Music Week keychain, and a gift certificate for free fajitas at the Lone Star. I have a friend who doesn't work in the music business, he works in the movie business. So before he went to last year's Canadian Music Week events, he called me and asked about some Canadian acts he should know. Name some bands, he said, and I'll look them up so I know what I'm talking about. So I told him about Arcade Fire, and Feist, and a bunch of more obscure bands as well. When he returned, he told me that my advice was totally irrelevant. No one brought up any actual musical acts at any of the events he attended. But there was a performance by someone. I can't remember if it was April Wine or Trooper or Loverboy or Honeymoon Suite. But it sure wasn't Arcade Fire.

And the big news - headbanging can kill you! Australian researchers did an extensive study of the lasting effects of headbanging, and discovered that banging one's head to the latest heavy metal songs can cause brain damage, up to and including strokes. Especially to those songs whose beats per minute reached numbers close to 180, like Motley Crue's "Kickstart My Heart". I have always wondered what kind of people liked Motley Crue, and what inspired the fanatical following that band enjoys. It turns out that it is a self-perpetuating type of fanaticism - you listen to a Crue song, you bang your head, you suffer brain damage, you like other Motley Crue songs. Makes sense now.

The researchers went on to cast doubt upon their findings by referring to Beavis and Butthead. They discovered that Beavis, when listening to the Ramones "I Wanna Be Sedated" banged his head within the acceptable parameters, and was unlikely to suffer serious and lasting damage. However, Butthead banged his head far too vigorously, and was in danger of suffering from anything from a headache to a stroke. Then, they added some humour: "It is well understood, however, that cartoon characters are able to tolerate greater than normal impacts without injury." That's actually pretty funny.

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