Wednesday, July 23, 2008

The Doc and Woody tournament - a recap.

This year was the most smoothly-run, successful tournament we've had yet. A great time all around, and the rain let up at about the third hole, allowing the sun to come out and warm things out around the tenth. I was golfing with three great guys who were all better than I am, and they carried me the whole round. We finished at four under. And we talked to people after the round, because everyone was discussing their scores. That's what people do at golf tournaments. "Oh, we could have been fifteen under, if we hadn't had those eleven bogeys..." and so forth. There was a minus-thirteen, a minus-fourteen. The Canadian has this neat feature on their golf carts where you can observe the "leader board" and see who's ahead of you. Throughout the entire round, Doc's foursome was leading. Doc's getting to be really good at golf, and his wife is excellent as well. He was golfing with Kevin Keohane from CHEO and his young son, both of whom have wonderful golf swings. So their score could have been real. Even so, I felt that it was unseemly for Doc to be cheating on his score at his own golf tournament.

But when it comes right down to it, the scores aren't even mentioned at our event. No one cares who "wins" or "loses". We don't even have one of those obnoxious "most honest golfers" trophies or anything like that. So actually keeping score is pointless. Randall was golfing with Jeff Brown, who came back to town just for this event. Because it's just that good. And because they are both terrified of computers and anything electronic, they were keeping score the old fashioned, pencil-and-scorecard way. I have no idea how they did. I don't think they know either. Also back in town just for our event (or so she said) was Tina, the Canadian cart girl who likely makes more money at our tournament than she does the entire rest of the year. So it stands to reason she would want to do this.

Our guys are certainly capable of enjoying themselves - especially with so many girls around the course. And not just the cart girls, but our promo identical twins, our intern rock army, the girls from our sales department, and many others. Even Orleans Boat World and Sports, who provided us with boats for the hole-in-one holes, sent a lovely young girl to look after their boat. By the time we got to her hole, she had become an old pro at handling the "do you come with the boat" question - the guys in the foursome behind us asked her, and apparently - no joke - that was the fourteenth time she had heard that during the day. She told me she was thinking of wearing a shirt that said "oh, you!" Loving the Simpsons reference...speaking of Simpsons references, I'm loving the Keith Olberman show when he shows John McCain screwing up in speeches beside a photo of Grandpa Simpson with the caption "Old Man Yells At Cloud".

But I digress. Then, of course, the Carleton University cheerleaders, who were on every par three, observing the hole-in-one attempts while attempting to distract the golfers with high-flying gymnastic routines. I think that, more than anyone else, they enjoy the "do you come with the boat" kind of attention. And, it turns out, they do NOT come with the boat. And we know this, because someone actually won one! This was by far the coolest thing that has ever happened at one of our tournaments. When we got to the par-threes, the guys in my foursome were so distracted that they put their balls in the water, the sandtrap. I saw guys hitting the 110-yard shots with three-woods, because they were paying no attention whatsoever to golf. All of which made Jeff Gray's feat all the more impressive. It came really early, too. By the time my foursome got to our first par-three, the word was already out that someone had won a boat. I really wish I could have seen that, I've never seen a hole in one. But thankfully, Leon from was there. Right there, in fact, and caught the entire thing on film. (Which means there was added media pressure, and it was even more impressive.) You can see it here:

Leon is amazing like that. He seems to have an uncanny ability to pop up wherever something cool is going to happen. In my case, that means he appears whenever I'm about to hit a tree, or do my patented shot where I get all tee and no ball, and the ball just falls to the ground. In this case, it meant he was right there to catch the excitement. He's also amazing when it comes to golf - all the guys in my foursome were outdriving me by a wide margin all day, so on the tenth hole I hand Leon my club to take my drive for me because mine is useless. He grabs my club, doesn't even set his feet, walks up to the box and swings, putting the ball three feet in front of the green. On a par four. The thing must have gone 350. Ridiculous.

Then we're done, it's dinner time, and Trevor Finlay played. Great, as always. Then we auctioned off a John Mellencamp autographed guitar, which went for $1,000. And another guitar autographed by the cheerleaders, Trevor and his band, and the Doc and Woody show, which went for $500. I'm reasonably certain we could have got $1,000 for that one as well, had the four of us refrained from signing it. All in all, the tournament managed to raise $12,000, I broke in my new golf shoes, we all made some new friends, and a guy hit a hole-in-one and won a boat. It doesn't get much better than that.


  1. Well,first of all,a big congrads to all the hard work & money raised for that there cheo thingy.
    & a lucky hole in one winner.
    That golf ball Eric,looks like its been hunting with Mr Chainey,ha ha
    Well i gotta go meet some Aliens at the Crawford Ranch,They're Gang probing me & the wife this afternoon,been kinda look'n forward to that all week.
    Friend & Fan L'il Bush.