Sunday, June 1, 2008


I was doing a live commercial yesterday at Laura's Independant Grocer at the Hazeldean Mall in Kanata. It's just a few blocks from my house, which is nice. It means I can walk there and back. Although I was a little tardy getting ready, and it was pouring rain, so I ended up driving, like the bad resident of Earth that I am. They had a whole family-fun day planned, a big community party, and there were dozens of activities which I assume were to take place outdoors that had to be moved inside. Which, in a way, was kind of awesome. There was a BMX-rollerblade stunt team there, the Krazy Krew (thank goodness they aren't Karl's Krazy Krew or something...those initials would be offputting for family fun days the world over). And they had to move their show inside, to the grocery store itself. Which I found far more entertaining than that jumping up off the ramp thing they normally do. Because it meant they had to do all their flat-land tricks while negotiating their way through completely oblivious shoppers and children.

You would think that when coming to a grocery store, and seeing a crowd encircling an empty space in this way, that you would assume there was something going on, and maybe endeavour not to walk straight across that open arena. You would think. But grocery shoppers are different. They aren't going to Chapters or La Senza to just browse around the racks and see what's out there. They are on a mission to find food to eat. And nothing is going to slow them down, nothing will distract them from the list in their hand, the rumble in their bellies or the purpose in their heart. And they will walk in, grab a cart, and walk straight through a wide open floor space where a BMX bike rider is attempting to jump over three guys lying on the ground. What do they care that there is a show of some kind happening? THEY need chocolate-covered almonds from the bulk section. Stat. And so we got to see the bikers and rollerbladers wipe out repeatedly as some unimpressed mother dragged her three-year-old and her shopping cart directly through the middle of the place, and stopped to try to find the price tag on the three overturned BMX bicycles, just as the guy on rollerblades had got up enough speed to jump over those three overturned bicycles. And he had to dive to the floor, and slid into the crowd. Hilarious!

All in all, a good day. One guy came into the store and asked a couple of ladies which one was Eric The Intern, and where he could find me. After one of the friendly ladies running the event waved at me, and steered the man in my direction, I offered my hand. He shook it, and then said this: "I hope Randall kills you soon". Then he turned on his heel and left, as Josh (our tech guy) and I cracked up. We hoped that this man had not re-arranged his whole day to come and say that. It would have been a shame if he had been forced to forego his planned trip to the liquor store just so he could come and wish me dead in person. Well, it was about noon, and it was still early. Lots of time for liquor and Penningtons and Bentley. Again, hilarious.

Also funny was this. As Josh and I ate hot dogs, we discussed hot dogs. I had just loaded up on meat in my shopping cart, and was looking forward to getting home for the first steak I was going to barbecue all year. ($4.99 a pound - striploin!) I had my cart ready to go - four packages of pork chops, four packages of steak, ground beef, burgers and two packs of hot dogs. Oh, and some broccoli or something. And in the hot dog section, something occurred to me. You know how they have those chicken wieners, and they're like 79 cents a dozen or something? They're WAY cheaper than the regular wieners. And yet, they're just about the only hot dogs that tell you what's actually in them. Chicken. You know what is in those, but the ones that are basically "miscellaneous meat", the by-product of whatever beef slaughtering has gone on, you don't really know. So how come the one hot dog where you know for a fact what's inside is so much cheaper than the ones where you really have no idea? Food for for Sunday afternoon.


  1. Eric.. WOW!!! you are now up there with Ben Laden!!! as someone want's you dead

    See, you are making your mark be it good or bad...

  2. Osama's cousin from Omaha...his parents were Herb and Doris Laden.