Thursday, May 22, 2008

Now...the boot camp.

So boxing made me cramped and stiff and tired. Krav Maga made me sore and bruised and tired, but I was still stiff and cramped and tired from the boxing. So this morning, when I got up, I was sore, bruised, stiff, cramped, and totally worn-out. Now that I have finished the Sunrise Boot Camp, I am sore, bruised, stiff, cramped, limping, nauseous, and absolutely exhausted. The movement is returning to my fingers, which is nice, but the rest of my body feels like I've beentied to the ground during a cattle stampede...OK, that analogy was a bit of a stretch, but I've been watching Season 3 of Rawhide these past few days...the boot camp was the toughest day yet. And at this point I have no way to gauge whether that is because it is actually a harder workout, or if it is rather because I am so beaten up by the other workouts that I can barely function as a human being ought to.

The main thing that killed me at the boot camp was the running. And there wasn't even that much running! This was the one which really showed me how staggeringly out of shape I have become. Eleven years ago, I did workouts like this every morning. In fact they were tougher! We would run 10 km with the rowing team, get back to the school and do an hour of pushups, sit-ups, jumping jacks and burpees. Then we would go to school, and at lunch I would hit the weight room with the rugby team, and after school was either football or waterpolo. I spent the entire day either running or doing excercises. Now, I can barely make it through the warm-up at boot camp. We jogged around the track, did a few pushups and jumping jacks and burpees, and jogged back. And I was finished. Already. This was about the six-minute mark of the sixty-minute workout. Then jogging back to the main area, jogging to one goalpost and sprinting to the other, jogging and sprinting, jogging and sprinting. I really thought I was going to make an ass of myself by puking in the first twenty minutes. But I made it.

Then to the mats. Sit-ups and pushups and more burpees. Because, for the full hour, this boot camp never stopped. (In fact, it started so suddenly, with no respite, that I spent the first twenty-five minutes running in my coat, with my pockets full of my stuff - keys, wallet, books, organizer, cell phone, and other assorted impediments to my excercise. As I ran, this stuff flew around me, hitting me in the face and dragging me down. That's right. Three pounds worth of crap in my jacket pockets dragged me down. Finally, I had a chance to take off the jacket and fling it at Esther, who was filming this hour-long descent into complete misery.) So because of this frenentic pace, the sit-ups and pushups and burpees actually seemed like the rest period. I just desperately wanted no more running.

But it was not to be. I think the thing that killed me the most was this shuffling run, sideways, around the big circle, that made my legs burn and my stomach turn...hey, that rhymes! Then we ran some more, this time with giant elastics that one person pulled while someone else followed. I was paired up with Roxanne, one of the two instructors at the camp. I'm pretty sure she was going easy on me. In fact, when she was the one pulling me, she kept saying "only one and a half more laps", as though despite the fact that I was not the one doing the work, I was the one who needed the encouragement. And she was right. I did need it. Just jogging was killing me. And then, the grand finale. We ran in a big circle, passing a medicine ball back down the line, and the person at the back had to run up to the front when he or she got it. Again, an excercise I used to do in my sleep. Now, I took the ball, I ran for the front of the line, and I lost the ball. I chased it down, I picked it up, but the others hadn't stopped running! And though I tried, there was no catching the,. My legs gave out, I collapsed, the ball rolled into the middle of the circle, and I tried to speak. No luck.

In fact, I think every time I talked on the radio this morning, I couldn't make even one word come out of my mouth intelligibly. I was slurring words and trying to spit them out like Bob Dylan after six bottles of, I really don't have the analogies working today, do I? This Sunrise boot camp must have affected my brain. Anyway, this is a program that will whip you into shape, fast, in just a few weeks. Every morning, from 5:30 to 6:30. And I will guess that within a few short weeks, you will have the physique of Matthew McConaughey and the stamina of...Hugh Hefner? Ahhhh, my brain is useless now too. Here is a link to their website:


  1. Just wondering if this will inspire you to get back into a workout routine...????

  2. I think it likely will...once my body is able to stand and walk again!