Friday, May 2, 2008

Fergettin' thangs.

Randall had a great commentary on Friday about how forgetful he is becoming of late. All of which I blame on technology. He mentioned the passwords we use at work, which he insists get changed once a month solely to confuse and infuriate him. This is possibly true. This also confuses and infuriates me. None more so than the door code. Every morning, we are the first people into work, and we have to punch a code into the door to open it up. And this code changes, also once a month I believe. And I never remember what it is. I used to have a good system. Like, if the code was 5123492, I would think "Cecil Fielder, Michael Jordan, Brett Favre, Wayne Gretzky". And I would remember fairly well. Cecil Fielder hit 51 home runs one year for the Tigers (1990? 91?), Michael Jordan wore #23, Brett Favre wore #4, and Wayne Gretzky scored 92 goals one year for the Oilers. And that would get me through a month. A decidedly nerdy way to remember things, I realize, but it's what worked for me. However now, after dozens of code changes, I have completely lost track. I think the code now is "Carl Yazstremski, Tony Gwynn, Dale Hawerchuk", but then I used Tony Gwynn two or three codes ago also, and...I'm lost. I now learn the code two days before it gets changed.

And passwords! Everything I do is, to the best of my ability, done online to avoid mail and paper and all that stuff. But that means I have about seventy-four passwords to remember. One for every bill. One for every email system. One for all forty-six departments I must be a part of at work, and on occasion two or three passwords to get a single thing posted on, say, Breaking Rock News. This over-abundance of passwords in my life has led my brain to be so cluttered with words and letters and numbers that I barely know what they mean any more. This password requires at least four letters, one or more of which must be a capital letter, and at least three numbers also, none of which can be zero...and the whole password can not exceed eight characters...what? Now I have them all written down, which is the least secure thing ever because if my series of passwords gets stolen anyone will have the ability to not only steal my identity, but also steal the forty-four bucks I keep in my Cayman Islands bank account! (You should SEE the passwords I need to get to the Cayman Islands online.)

But my memory, for the most part, remains fine. At least in comparison to Randall. And definitely in comparison to Doc. We were golfing at the Canadian on Thursday, and I hit a shed with my ball. When I went over to play that ball from the edge of the lake, there were some guys there working on a pipe. And they yelled over "hey, I got a banana in the car for ya!" and I laughed and said hi and then hit my ball three feet in front of me, straight into the water. And as I walked up the fairway with Doc, he asked me why they said that. "Is it because you hit the ball like a gorilla? 'Cause ya kinda do hit it like a gorilla..." he was still pondering the reasons these men could possibly have had for mentioning bananas to me, while I looked at him as though he were...well...bananas. I finally told him. "See, I once peeled a banana with my ass. Actually, it was fairly recently, like two days ago. You should remember, you were there." And he smacked his forehead and said "Oh, right! ... sometimes I forget what we do." Then, about four minutes later, he missed a putt by about four feet when he was distracted by a spider that walked across his putting line. I get it - don't walk across a guy's putting line - but...


  1. Well,this so called phenomenon ya call memory loss,I think I can sum up in 2 words,,,i think we are all around,,the same age,,Eric,you a little younger,i think,,i'm 45,,,& I think its called,,,,,"Getting Older",,,I too,,before leaving the house,,am walking in circles sometimes,,,where's my ipod ?
    keys.?,,,$^@K !,,,they were right HERE !!!!,,,oh they are in my hand or pocket,,,,Man i used to feel that way as a teen,,with a good "BUZZ" on,,,now its AUX NATERAL .

  2. For the online and computer passwords at least, there are free and shareware programs you can install that will help you with that. I think they work by having one master password which then applies the appropriate other password depending what you're doing. You should look into it...try or

  3. My "trick" is to use the very same password with slight variations all the time. Like you add two letters linked to the program you want to access. Say your password is Viagra; you then add SB if you want to access your Scotia Bank account. Or CH if you want to access the Chez106 hockey pool...etc Works for me...
    BTW, I do not wish to offend you but gorillas would be very upset if they knew some people are compared to them. They don't peel their bananas, they just squeezed the pulp out...then eat the peel.

  4. Well...that's kind of what I did. Only I ate neither the banana nor the peel. Not a bad plan, though - I oughtta try that some time. But I don't know how to change my passwords now that I have 'em. Doon I will have no need, however, as I will become a hermit and live in a shanty in the woods near Pembroke and hunt squirrels for sustenance.