Wednesday, April 2, 2008

The shows my girlfriend and her friends watch. On now. (0/10)

I just watched the worst hour of television in history. Moment of Truth is a show where a person takes lie detector tests, and has to answer truthfully in order to make it to 500,000 dollars. That person's wife or husband and family are sitting with them, to make things that much more awkward and brutal. Here is my breakdown of the season finale of Moment of Truth:

Announcer: Coming up, Cindy makes it to the end of a marriage-shattering program with the most unbelievable ending in television history!
One question is asked. Cindy answers truthfully.
A second question is asked.
A recap of another contestant's answers shows, and an update about that person since the show is aired.
Announcer: Coming up, Cindy shatters her marriage and destroys her life on her way to $500,000!
Announcer: Cindy is about to shatter her marriage as she quests for $500,000!
Another update.
Question #2 is asked again. She answers truthfully, and continues.
Question #3 is asked.
Another update.
Announcer: It's the most unbelievable finale in television history as Cindy goes for it all! Coming up.
Announcer: More talk about the greatest moment in TV history!
Another update.
Question #3 is asked again. The same footage we just saw.
Question #3 is answered truthfully.
Here comes Question #4.
Another update.
Announcer: Greatest TV moment...blahblahblah.
Another update.
Question #4 is asked again. Same footage. So far Cindy has said that sometimes she regrets marrying her husband (who doesn't sometimes), sometimes she worries about him cheating on her (who doesn't), and that she has considered hiring a private investigator to follow him. (A thought that likely crosses many minds from time to time.) This question is about whether she would accept $100,000.00 to pose nude in a magazine. She says no. That answer is false. It turns out she would accept that much and pose nude. She loses and goes home with 25 grand. The end.

There were a total of seven minutes of actual show in the entire hour. What a waste of time. Then we watched America's Next Top Model, which showcases pretty girls and what look like pre-pubescent boys competing against each other to become the next vapid face of Clinique or whatever. This is the worst show in history. Next, apparently, to Moment Of Truth. Thankfully, there were a lot of commercials, and the girls did not mind my constant complaining. Even found it a little humourous, at times. However, it all ended for me when, in the commercial breaks in the Tyra Banks Is Wonderful show, they flipped to the third-worst show in history, the American Idol Results Show. Frankly, I would rather watch that K-Y intrigue commercial over and over than have to deal with Ryan Seacrest taking phone calls from loyal American Idol watchers for the contestants. What is your favourite colour? Well...I like most blue...but some greens are really nice...and I'm kinda partial to that shade of yellow that shines from my tulips when the sun comes in the window just rightCOMMERCIAL! God, I need to go back to work.

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