Wednesday, April 2, 2008

The Seeker: The Dark is Rising. Out now. But be careful, this movie involves property damage! (****4/10)

The back of the box I got from Rogers when I rented The Seeker: The Dark is Rising is hilarious. It's a kids' movie, about time travel and enchanted stones and bad guys and so forth. So the parental "flags" are listed on the back of the box. Mild nudity! (I saw no nudity, mild or otherwise. There was a bare elbow, I think.) Drinking! (It took me a while to realize that this meant that at one point an old man had a brandy in his hand.) No objectionable words or phrases...then this:

violence/scariness: knocking others around, property damage.

Yes, the young boy DID knock another boy down. And there WAS property damage. A house was flooded. Which was very scary and violent. Well, for a flood it was, anyway. Don't let your kids watch this movie! There is property damage!

This is the story of a young boy (Alexander Ludwig) who turns fourteen. And in movies like this one, for whatever reason, a certain birthday for certain young boys means that certain things happen in the world, and in this case it means that he now has superpowers. He discovers these superpowers when two cops take him in to interrogate him for shoplifting. (Don't worry, he didn't actually shoplift. There might be property damage in this movie, but there is no theft.) The cops start to grill him, then shoot crows out of their mouths and pants. Which is awesome. But he gets away with some kind of super strength, and then hides at his house. These are some pretty intense scenes that are marred by weird editing and dizzying camera angles. Young Will Stanton - what a perfect name for the saviour of the world, eh - sees a vision of the world ending without his help. You can tell the world is ending because the Statue of Liberty gets smoked. Whenever the world ends, the Statue of Liberty is always first to go. Curse of Planet of the Apes, I suppose.

Will quickly finds out that he is the seventh son of a seventh son - how original - and that this means he is the only one who can find the "signs" which appear to be rocks of some kind. He is the latest in a line of warriors who must bring light to the world to stave off the forces of darkness. He is being helped by a group of people who can travel through time to find these signs. Through his travels he is pursued by The Rider (a terrific Christopher Eccleston) who represents the forces of darkness. Of course, there is a final showdown, one that really lets the steam out of the movie with it's brainless simplicity. Oh wait, I know the answer. I win. The end. There is also a subplot that is just about completely useless, about a twin brother that Will has who was abducted many years ago but whom the family seems to have completely forgotten. The Seeker: The Dark is Rising is yet another in the terribly unchallenging series of mystical children's movies that are a dime a dozen. Children might not care that it plays strictly by-the-numbers, but you will. This movie will bore you to tears.

No comments:

Post a Comment