Friday, April 25, 2008

Ba-ba-ba-ba-bananas!

Somehow, Doc and Woody decided it would be a good idea to see if I could peel a banana using only my butt cheeks. When you have a disposable thong lying around, you better use it, right? And what better use of a disposable thong that using your ass to peel a banana? Thank goodness my buttocks had been freshly sugared, which added a certain classiness to the proceedings. OK, I'm reaching a bit here, aren't I? At first, I was very skeptical. Why would ANYONE want to do this? Who would come up with such an idea? The boys insisted that it had something to do with my ass paintings, and the talent they felt was inherent in my bum. Even so, why would this be a measure of that talent? Ah, whatever. By the time I got halfway through, however, I really started to feel like I needed to do this, that somehow I would feel better about myself if I managed to accomplish this task, if I actually was able to pop that banana out. And I did! Here is the video (caution: this is a very revealing video of a gross fat guy with a shaved ass peeling a banana with said ass):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YuZCFryIUaE

We have a new promo co-ordinator, Esther. This was her first day. There have been several promo co-ordinators during my time at CHEZ. Jon left after I dressed up in a diaper (as Cupid) and read poems to bricklayers on Valentine's Day. Nada left after I appeared in lingerie at the Doc and Woody golf tournament. Jason left after attneding my live butt-painting event at the Parkdale Gallery. And Tiffany left following a particularly disturbing episode with a dominatrix. Of all these things, however, I think this was likely one of the most offensive of all, in terms of being in the room and actually looking at it. So Esther got what could be termed a "baptism by fire", and acquitted herself admirably. She didn't once retch, just discreetly turned her head at tha more accidentally heinous moments. Good stuff, Esther! She might stay for more than a month!

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