Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Taxes! Dollars! I'm sleepy!

I researched the deadline for contributing to RRSPs in order to make my contribution before the deadline for this year's taxes. March 1st, apparently, was the very last day I could do this. I have had a ridiculously busy two weeks, and so I left it to the very last minute. But, my bank was open on Saturday the 1st, so I went in that day to make sure I got the contribution in on time. But I was wrong. It turns out that when February has 29 days, the deadline is no longer March 1st. It is February 29th. Something to remember four years from now. So I missed the boat, yet again, on contributing to my RRSP before I did this year's taxes. But I went ahead and did my taxes anyway. In fact, I had two years' worth of taxes to do, since I found out I didn't do last years' either. I was told that H&R Block charged like 40 bucks to do your taxes. I thought that was a great idea, since I always use that tax software, that costs like 70 bucks. So to save some time and money, I went to H&R Block last night.

I always feel very good about paying my taxes. I watch the money leave my hand, knowing that it goes for the greater good. Maybe this year because of me, the head of a federal advertising agency can afford that more-expensive wine with his meal. If I had a really good year, financially, perhaps he can even take some clients out to the luxury box at the next Senators game! And if I did really well, my money could well be spent to purchase the vote of an independant MP in order to sway the government into another election. And election that would alsouse up my money. Boy, do I feel important when I pay my tax. I sure can't wait for the next election, because nothing fills me with a sense of power like the times when the government creates plans. Plans that I like. Using my money. Perhaps enough plans that I might vote for them, based on what they have done with my money. This is the greatest moment in democracy, when my vote is purchased from me with my own money, such that I can give more of that money to the same party, and eventually they will use that money to purchase my vote again come the next election! The power I wield is too much for just one man.

So, chest swelling and head growing, I sat down with the H&R Block woman for my twenty-minute meeting. It was already an hour past my bedtime, so I was thankful that this process would go quickly. Maybe the government would take more of my money than I had already paid, which would be great because then I would personally be contributing to, say, reducing hospital wait times from eight hours to seven-and-a-half. Now, if only I could have done something with my tax dollars to reduce the H&R Block wait time. I had two years to go through. I had two T4s and two T5s. I was there for three hours. That's no exaggeration. Three. Hours. I don't even know what was going on, I was drifting off and desperately trying to keep my eyes open. Then I got the good news - I was getting money back! BOTH years! For 2006, I got 60 bucks back, which meant that I owed H&R Block eighty dollars. For 2007, I was getting substantially more back - One hundred and twenty bucks! Which meant that for that year, I owed H&R block twenty dollars. Wait...what? I get back 60, it costs me 80 to go through the process...when I get back 120, it costs me 20. And it turns out the process is far more painful and long than actually doing my taxes myself.

So I left, with my 49 dollar cheque in hand, and vowed to do my taxes myself from now on. It might cost 70 bucks to buy that software, but at least I can do it on my own time, instead of hours after bedtime, and I can do it in far less than three hours. By the time I left, I was exhausted and starving. I had to eat, and didn't have the energy to cook anything, so I figured I would hit McDonalds on the way home. There was no one else there. Inside, or at the drive-thru. Anywhere. It still took them seven minutes to acknowledge my presense, and then another eleven to serve me my Big Mac. That's no joke, I was at McDonalds for eighteen minutes. For a Big Mac. When I got home, I discovered that my Big Mac was in fact a Big Extra. I figured I don't care, I'm just so hungry and tired I'll eat whatever. I bit into my burger hungrily, and gagged. Not only was it not a Big Mac, it was also not cooked. At all. It was a completely raw burger crammed into a bun. No ketchup, no onions, nothing at all, but a raw burger and a bun. I gave up on life. I went to bed. I was starving, exhausted, and at this point very angry. But at least I was 48 dollars richer.


  1. I know what you mean Eric. Tell me how do you feel about your hard earned tax dollars going to pay the legal fees of politicians? That's what gets me the most.
    Mrs. Mama

  2. What gets me the most is politicians, around election time, attempting to buy my vote with my money. That, for me, is even slightly ahead of legal fees!