Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Scarin' kids...one by one...

Every morning when I come home from work at 9:30, the first thing I do is take off my pants. The second thing I do is make some lunch. And the third thing I do after eating that lunch is slip outside for a smoke. Well, traffic was backed up this morning thanks to the snow. That meant I got home at 10:00, rather than 9:30. Which meant that I ate at 10:15 rather than 9:45. Which meant I went out for my smoke at 10:30, rather than 10:00. When I do go out for this smoke, I don't bother putting pants on. I just open my garage door and sit on the steps. But this morning, my routine was a little bit off. Every morning, a gathering takes place on my driveway. Two babysitters and their young charges congregate in my driveway to wait for the school bus at the same time every day. And today, because I was half an hour later than usual, I opened the garage door to find five very small children staring, mouths agape, directly into the garage as I walked outside with my beer and my smoke and my underwear on. I shut the door quickly. Looks like I'm not smoking today. Kids are good for your health.

8 comments:

  1. That was hilarious. Way to scare the small children Eric. So do ya find that working for Doc and Woody causes you to need beer at 10:30 a.m.?
    Mrs. Mama Murphy

    ReplyDelete
  2. I read this story to my wife. I, too, thought it was hilarious. My wife says, 'I don't get it. Why does he take off his pants'. I tried to explain that it's a guy thing.

    I guess, too, that MM doesn't get that if you are having lunch at 10am, then it's perfectly acceptable to have a beer afterwards. The alternative is to have it after you wake up, which means that you would be getting liquored up a few hours before going to work.
    Then again, you've got Doc & Woody to face after a hard night's work. I'd drink, too.

    (The kids are right, though...smokin' is just no darn good).

    ReplyDelete
  3. Tell th inc I do understand about having a beer after lunch no matter what time lunch is. I was making a joke at the expense of Doc and Woody. If the inc understands about pants and beer, why can't he grasp the concept of a simple joke?
    Mrs. M.M.

    ReplyDelete
  4. No, it's not Doc and Woody that make me want a beer at 10 a.m. - it's Randall. He's always talking recipes and how such-and-such goes great with a beer. I'm not much of a cook, so all I hear is "beer". I have always liked to have a beer after work - when I used to work overnights, I would have one at 7 a.m. when I got home. The Kanata neighbours love seeing me on my porch. I bring down their property values.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I see that Doc and Woody have corrupted Eric to the point where he is delusional and cannot recognize what is good and pure in this world.
    Eric, Randall is not the enemy. He may be a little opinionated; that's his job, but I'm sure he would never do anything that could get you hospitalized or arrested. Can you say the same about Doc and Woody?
    Mrs. M.M.

    ReplyDelete
  6. hmm...apparently a joke at Mrs. MMs expense doesn't have quite the same ring. Oh, well...

    ReplyDelete
  7. Well it's much better than me doing the same putting out the garbage in my bathrobe and a gust of wind showed my tallywhacker to all.

    Smoking in this weather with no pants you're risking permanent damage to your favourite muscle.

    ReplyDelete