Thursday, February 28, 2008

Olympics. I already hate them, but now...

I already hate the Olympics. Oh, I like some of it. I like certain events, and I enjoy cheering for Canada, and I love the "Olympic Moments" that get shown on sports highlight shows for years to come. Not like there has been a great Jesse Owens type moment since the 30s, but some have come close. No, I hate the Olympics themselves. The people who run them, the way they are run, the self-satisfied smugness of the entire process. Now, the new guy, Jacques Rogge, is far better than his predecessor, but there is still an overall feeling to the Olympics that bugs the hell out of me. The idea that nothing on Earth equals an Olympic gold medal in the field of "achievement". I would beg to differ. I would suggest a Nobel prize or a Pulitzer or a Victoria Cross are at the very least equal. Further, I would say that not all Olympic gold medals are that impressive. A decathlon medal? Not equal to a badminton medal. A marathon medal? Not equal to a mdeal in skeet shooting. And trampoline? Synchronized diving? Bridge? Yeah, that's what the Olympics needs. More events. Like card games. Can't do chess, I guess. It would take too long. Maybe this year they could add that speed-chess thing I see old men play in the park in movies.

Or perhaps tire swing, marbles, monkey bars and BigWheel. Cram those all into an event with trampoline and call it the Playground Pentathlon, at which point the guy who cries the least over all five events is named the winner. Oh - not the monkey bars. Too close to gymnastics. How about four-square? This is really why I hate the Olympics. Because I really don't want to watch Brian Williams go through his whole CBC announcer thing, and then kick it to Chris Cuthbert, who has some kind of in-depth back story about a Canadian synchronized trampolinist who has an outside chance at the bronze medal in today's event...I don't want Canada to win that event. I don't want us to win a medal in bridge. The only reason I am not embarassed by our success in curling is that the players can drink while they curl. I want to see medals in running, biking, kayaking, weight lifting, javelin, long jump...you know, sports. I've been sidetracked here. I started to get carried away with my disdain for the Olympics, so I will start a new post to say what I actually set out to say. Ignore this.

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