Friday, October 12, 2007

Hmmmm...

I have noticed ads running up and down the sides of my blog. I am not sure where they come from. I am assuming they are free, public service announcements for child abuse. Or, more specifically, against child abuse. I AM against child abuse. I tried to click on one of the ads, but nothing happens. So I went to the website, www.useyourvoice.ca (you CAN click on that link) to find out what it was I was advertising. It is the Children's Aid Society website where they explain what to look for in terms of signs and signals when it comes to abused children. I think this is a website everyone should visit. I am glad they are advertising on my blog. Now, if only I was consulted before this ad was put up. I may have given too much power to those who deal with the advertising portion of the CHEZ website. Well, go to the website, and you web guys - consider this post to be my agreement when it comes to posting this ad, and my approval of this ad being placed on my blog. Just don't try to put Canadian Tire up here.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Jello. The pain and the stain.

OK. I get that Doc thinks I need to do more ridiculous things. He gets bored, and when he has nothing to do, he thinks up things to do to me that will make him laugh. This morning, that thing was Jello in my pants. The idea, I guess, was that he would put a bowl of Jello, one scoop at a time, into my pants, tape them off at the top and the bottom, and I would sit there in Jello all day. Or is it Jell-O? If I am capitalizing it as though it is a brand name, which it is, then perhaps I should at least spell it right. For the rest of this post, I will go with all-lowercase, thereby avoiding the problem altogether. Get me a kleenex.

I knew something was up as soon as I showed up at the station this morning. Doc was wearing a CHEZ hat and a CHEZ shirt. That meant that at some point that day, he was planning to be in a picture. Which, by extension, likely meant he was planning to do something devious to me. Devious? Deviant? Whatever. Of course he was.

So, jello. The process of putting the jello in my pants was fairly quick, but with the rather sudden nature of the piece, Jason (in what I'm sure was a memorable final event for him before he moved up North) was unable to get the duct tape around my upper thighs in time to contain all the jello. Therefore, it was mostly pooled in my underwear, but large portions of it had begun to drip down my calves toward my feet. I was smart this time - I took off my socks and shoes. Enough clothes have been ruined in my service to the Doc and Woody show over the years that I have learned some form of planning. I also had an extra pair of pants in the car - more good planning. I took off my shirt, to protect it from jello stains - more good planning! Tiffany now taped my oversized jogging pants securely around the ankles to hold in the jello.

This made sense at the time, but jello, it turns out, melts. And as it does, it becomes liquid. This liquid seeps out of jogging pants as easily as water through a paper towel. Before long, there was an enormous network of garbage bags taped to the floor of the studio to contain this seepage. Which of course gave us the idea to do some calisthenics. My first attempt at a lunge was derailed when my jello-covered foot slipped on the garbage bags and I went down, nearly taking Randall's coffee with me. Then I tried a jumping jack, and I slipped again. This time I did the inadvertent splits, which is always a great way to pull one's groin. The video is available on the Doc and Woody fun page. I won't put a link to it because it is fairly gross, and I want to spare some people.

In the end, there was no jello left at all, no liquid left either, just a giant, sticky, orange mess in my pants. One which I was unable to scrub off completely the first go-round, and one which I may have to shave this afternoon. And one which may stain my junk orange for days to come. The guys said I did NOT complete the task, that I did not stay sitting in jello-pants the entire show. Splitting hairs once again, I say. The fact of the matter is I sat in the jello until the jello was gone, then I attempted to clean it off. This took a long time. And in order for me to get home in time to get my girlfriend to her work, I can't afford to be hanging around in a shower scrubbing orange crap off my scrotum after the show ends.

All this jello talk is making me hungry. I'm getting a sandwich.

Some history.

I have been playing "Rock It To Number One" 80s edition the card game with my girlfriend the last little while. She beats me fairly consistently, since she is so familiar with the music of the 80s. She was six when the decade started, (I was two) which gives her an advantage, and she also likes 80s music, which gives her a huge advantage. This got me to thinking about some defining moments in history.

In 1888, Alfred Nobel, the inventor of dynamite, lost his brother in a nitroglycerine explosion. The newspapers misunderstood and believed that Nobel himself had died. They ran an obituary that read "Dr. Alfred Nobel, who became rich by finding ways to kill more people than ever before, died yesterday..." he became profoundly regretful that his invention, dynamite, had been used for evil purposes, and attempted to atone for his misdeeds by establishing the Nobel Prizes, the one for peace specifically intended to make amends.

In 1939, Albert Einstein, winner of the 1921 Nobel Prize in physics, signed a letter written by Leo Szilard to American President Franklin Delano Roosevelt that indicated Nazi Germany might be developing nuclear weapons. The U.S. took heed of these warnings, and based on that letter, they began their own nuclear weapons program, and within five years they had used two of these atomic bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Einstein felt such a profound regret that his words had been used for evil that he became heavily involved with anti-nuclear weapons lobby groups and civil rights organizations, among them the Princeton chapter of the NAACP. He became co-chair of the American Crusade to End Lynching. In 1949 he wrote "I do not know how the Third World War will be fought, but I can tell you what they will use in the fourth - rocks!"

In 1979 Roger Linn, a musical instrument designer who wrote the song "Promises" for Eric Clapton, created the world's first programmable, sample-sound drum machine. The LM-1 became synonymous with 80s pop music, as well as early dance and hip-hop. Upon realizing that his invention had been used for evil (for example, Phil Collins, Gary Numan, Depeche Mode, The Human League and The Art Of Noise), Linn went into seclusion in a Tibetan monastery, where he became famous for synthesizing the chants of the monks, allowing their music to be heard without any actual effort from the monks themselves. In time, no longer bound to their duties of actually learning music, the monks in that particular temple became shiftless and lazy, and in the late nineties they stayed up all night listening to Savage Garden, then drank some Kool-Aid.

In 1964, Robert Moog, a physicist at Cornell University, invented the synthesizer, and by extension, electronic music. In the beginning, users of the Moog synthesizers were either interesting or harmless, like Rick Wakeman or Wendy Carlos. However, during the 80s he began to see the evil his creation had brought to the world. Yes, he, Robert Moog, had paved the way for such 80s luminaries as Duran Duran, Berlin, A Flock of Seagulls, The Buggles, Tears For Fears, Devo and the Pet Shop Boys. Distraught with grief, Robert Moog changed his first name to Andy and joined the Edmonton Oilers as a goalie. He is currently doing penance by serving time as the goalie coach for the Dallas Stars.

God, I hate the 80s. Have you ever noticed that on the CHEZ 106 "80s music that doesn't suck classic rock weekend", there are really only six acts we play from the 80s that actually DON'T suck? AC/DC, Bob Seger, Guns 'N Roses, Springsteen, Aerosmith, and...there must be one more somewhere.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Thanksgiving fighting is done, for now, I think.

I have been fighting with everyone for the past two weeks. My lawyers, my mom, my insurance company, my mother-in-law...well, truthfully none of these things have been actual fights. Disagreements, disturbances, misunderstandings, but not really fights.

First of all, my mother-in-law. I did her taxes a few months ago, and I screwed them up, it appears. Yesterday she got a notice from the goverment saying something about she didn't include her pension deductions or something, and she now owes 200 bucks more. I think she's calmed down some now, but she was pretty angry with me. But this got me thinking. I always thought if you screwed up on your taxes, the only way the government could find out was if you got audited. But apparently they do everyone's taxes FOR them anyway, and they have all your information. In future years, I might just send them a blank form, or just a form with random numbers that adds up to a refund for me, and then let them do my taxes themselves anyway. Then they can bill me. Or they can send me more money. Either way, it seems like a lot less work for me.

My insurance company and my lawyers. My girlfriend has car insurance, I am on that insurance as a secondary driver. I phoned the company a month and a half ago, and they told me to call back closer to my closing date on the house. As it turned out, I needed to get house insurance before I could get a mortgage. So fine. I called back closer to the closing date, and asked that my house insurance be put on the same policy. They said fine, it was done, it's over. Then I went to get my mortgage, and nothing happened. My lawyer's assistant called me to say I needed to call my insurance company. I said, about what? She said "just call them". So I called. I said hi...I'm Eric...so...what's up? After a lot of confusion, since I had no idea why I was calling, we determined that they did not know who I was. I explained my house insurance was under my girlfriend's name, they said oh, now we see, and they said they would fax my information over to my lawyer's office right away. I said thanks, then hung up.

A week later, the lawyer's assistant called back, and she was MAD. "I still haven't heard anything from your insurance company! I left this in YOUR hands"...blah blah blah. You left this in my hands? You told me NOTHING. I called the insurance company, not knowing who to talk to or about what. Apparently everything worked out. They found my name and my policy. They said they faxed it to you. "I have received NOTHING." Ok...so you have received nothing...now what do I do? "I'm leaving this in YOUR hands again." (Still angry.) In my hands to do what now? Play middle man between my lawyer and my insurance company, asking the insurance people to fax over something...I don't know what exactly...and then talking to my lawyer to say the papers have been faxed? You know what you need from the insurance people, why don't YOU call them and save me several hours? I'm paying you to set up this mortgage, shouldn't I leave this in YOUR hands? So I have been less than polite of late when dealing with lawyers.

And my mom. She is irritating me, because I am setting up this mortgage with her, and she is anxious to have it all finished. That should be done now. I stopped doing this phone tag crap that has been going on for two weeks, and taken up all of my time, and I have shown up at the insurance office in person. I found out that I have to have a house insurance policy that is under my name alone, and that has been the snag. It turns out my lawyer's office WAS getting the faxes, they just had the wrong information on them. So, in their parlance, they received no information at all. Which has mixed things up for me quite a lot. Me, being the middle man of course. The much-needed middle man. So I have now set up a new insurance policy under my own name, one that costs me much more because I am no longer eligible for the umbrella discounts, and one that cost me 107 bucks as a down payment. At least it is over, for now.

Until my lawyer, or mother, or mother-in-law, or someone else calls to yell at me again.

Stupid elections and smart voting.

I hate election time. Nothing is getting done in government because all that politicking is going on, which means that the government is only slightly less efficient than it normally is, as they spend their four years preparing for the next election anyway. For example, couldn't Stephen Harper get more done if he wasn't gunning for an election to happen right now? Does anyone really think it will be anyone's fault but Harper's if an election takes place? He's gunning for it, and nothing is more irritating than this "fish or get off the pot" rhetoric or whatever it is he's spouting. I'll call an election! I'll do it! Double dare me! No, triple-dog dare me! I'm not scared, I'll call one, just watch me! And it'll be your fault! Balls.

So we're in the middle of an election now, the provincial one, and I have been undecided until today. On many things. First of all, this MMP business. I agree with Randall that it is a decent idea that is being done poorly. I also agree with Randall that no one understands it or cares about it. Part of that reason is the wording of things. I read an article about it recently that went something like this: "MMP means elected MPPs will account for 90 seats, while 39 seats will be appointed. The new MPPs under MMP will be chosen by the parties in question to be added to their existing, elected MPPs, creating a MPP government." Or something like that. So...what?

Well, I like the principle behind MMP. I like the idea that it gets rid of that obnoxious strategic voting thing, or if it doesn't eliminate it, it curbs it somewhat. Before, I wanted to vote Green, but something inside me said "vote Liberal, because you don't want the Conservatives!" Which is fine, but then I'm voting hoping that one party will lose, rather than hoping one will win. Now, I get to do two votes. I would get to vote for a party AND a candidate. Maybe now I will pay more attention to the actualy candidates in my riding, and what they are prepared to do right there, because I am not now voting for a party, and because I still get to vote for my Green party without really losing anything. I know, it isn't perfect. The party leaders will have too much power. The Communist party could sneak a seat. The ridings will be bigger and there will be less legitimately elected MPPs. But this referendum will fail. It will not pass anyway, so my "strategic" vote here will be in favour of it. Perhaps a closer vote on MMP will encourage the powers that be to re-introduce it next election with a better system.

What else...ah, Trina Morrissette. Earl McRae, you sly devil, I predict you will have a lot to do with the estimable Ms. Morrissette getting elected today. For anyone who caught McRae's irritating column in the Sun last week about Trina Morrissette, here's a summary: Morrissette gave up part of her liver to save her mom's life. She was worried that a story like that, running in the paper moments before an election, could be perceived as fishing for more votes with the heart-warming story. McRae assured her, in his article, that this would be a story he would write anyway, at any time, and it had nothing to do with Trina Morrissette running for office as a member of the Progressive Conservative Party in the riding of Ottawa Centre. He suggested that he would have run the story, even if she had not been Trina Morrissette, Progressive Conservative Party candidate running in the riding of Ottawa Centre. She seemed satisfied by this response, and allowed him to go ahead with the heartwarming story. Hmmm...if you guys really wanted this piece to have nothing to do with the election, perhaps it could have waited until...tomorrow? Just a thought.

Whatever. I'm going to vote. MMP and Green. Here I come, John Ogilvie.

POSTSCRIPT:

I was wrong. Terribly wrong! And I'm pleased about it. Trina Morrissette did NOT win Ottawa Centre. In fact, she came in third, behind a Liberal AND an NDP candidate! My apologies to the people of Ottawa Centre, perhaps I did not give them enough credit for their ability to see through smarm. Well done, Ottawa Centre. You still elected a Liberal, but at least you did not fall victim to the charm of smarm. Speaking of which - I like Trina Morrissette, she's charming and hot...how come the Conservative Party seems to be one of the only ones with hot chicks? what am I missing here? I think Conservative woman, I think battle-axe. Yet somehow they find all the hot ones to run in their ridings...the Republicans in the States seem able to do this also, but they're different from the PC MPs here. The Consrvatives here are not hot-crazy, like Ann Coulter, they're crazy-hot like Helena Guergis. Go figure.

Monday, October 8, 2007

Thanksgiving is tremendous.

I don't understand Thanksgiving. I don't know why people celebrate, I don't know why they get together, and frankly, I don't really like it. So...we all sit around and eat turkey and...go home? Super. Perhaps people like it because it forces you to see your family, and you're not likely to get together just because it's a Monday. So this year, because we have a new house, and we're all family-ish, my girlfriend wanted to have Thanksgiving here. For me, it's merely a great way to spoil an NFL Sunday, but I said OK, because I am fully aware I had no choice in the matter. Also I knew that if I said no, I'd be going to someone else's house for the event, and I wouldn't be able to see the TV from the table.

So my grandmother in law...is that even a word? A real relation? I don't know. Anyway, my grandmother-in-law purchased a turkey for us. She told us it was a nine pound turkey. I don't know from turkeys. I have never held one, let alone cooked one. So nine pounds seemed reasonable to me. It weighs more than my tiny dog, it could well be nine pounds. So we figured out how long it should be cooked. And put it in at the appropriate time. Only to find out halfway through that "nine" actually meant "nineteen", and we were off by a good three hours. Also, this was our first time cooking with the new oven in our house. It is a "convection" oven, whatever that means. We were told that a convection oven cooks things much faster than a regular oven, so we took two hours off the cooking time. Of our nine pound turkey.

When I say "we", I really mean my girlfriend. My sole contribution to the day was to get up early, set up the kitchen, wash the dishes and open a beer. At 1:00, I was firmly entrenched in front of the TV watching football and ignoring the goings-on in the kitchen. At 1:15, I was fending off neices and nephews and dozens more family members as the house was over-run. At 1:30 I was hiding outside with a beer and a smoke, peering in the window at the Washington-Detroit game. I really wanted to watch the New England-Cleveland tilt, but I was afraid to come inside to change the channel. I figured, however, that since dinner was scheduled for 4:30, I would be able to have a few beers, and take the edge off with a huge meal.

Dinner, however, did not take place until 7:00. And as such, by the time food was served, and I had mediated the occasional family squabble, I was absolutely hammered, having poured beer upon beer into my empty and starving stomach. I think I pulled it off well, and only my girlfriend could tell that I was in an inebriated state. Everyone else just assumed I was a little more ebullient than usual, and they merely laughed along with my off-colour comments. In the end, it was a decidedly successful Thanksgiving (as successful as such a thing can be - I mean, people ate turkey, and they went home. Success! A win all around.) At least now I know how to use my oven, and how heavy nineteen pounds actually is. Ah, thanksgiving. A time for learning.

Me being an idiot does not begin and end with football.

I thought my car's starter was going. Every time I started the car, it chugged a little, and eventually caught. My first thought was, oh crap, the battery. Then I forgot about it. Until my girlfriend said "something's wrong with the starter", and I panicked, and I HAD to get my car in to Bank Street KIA immediately in case it died over the weekend. And I NEED it. So I forced myself into an appointment even though they were totally booked up all day, I rushed over to the service department, breathlessly explained that my starter was having problems, and explained the situation. It chugs, but doesn't start right away, sometimes it doesn't start at all. Of course, because fate conspires this way, when I got it to the service station, the problem had gone away. Now the car starts just fine. So they say they will test it to find out what is wrong. Without experiencing the problem themselves, they will have no idea what is wrong.

People need to stop referring to mechanics as "doctors for your car". Yes, I actually do hear that every now and then. Doctors don't tell you "well, if you're not coughing up blood NOW, I don't think I can figure out what's wrong with you. Go home and come back if it starts up again." They also don't say things like "I don't think I can figure out the problem unless I can experience it for myself, so if you could go ahead and chop off one of my fingers, I'll go ahead and perform the surgery." No, they do tests. In this respect, they are like mechanics.

It turned out, of course, to be the battery. I should have known this. I DID know this until somehow I got this "starter" crap in my head. I could have gone to Canadian Tire, or even some not-really-awful store, purchased a new battery, installed it and gone home. (Well, knowing the way my car is made, there is a chance I might have to take out the passenger seat, much of the trunk and the carburetor just to be able to access the battery. But there was a time I could have changed it myself.) Instead, I ended up getting the guys at the shop to replace my battery. Which cost me 150 bucks more than it would have had I just thought through the problem for myself. 150 bucks! More! And why? Because they had to use that machine. To test the car. To find out what was wrong. I am not a car guy. I don't really understand cars at all. But even I thought of the battery thing. When the car was finally fixed, they suggested to me that the complaint I was making was almost certainly the battery. Well, I could have had them replace three batteries for the price I paid. All because of that machine.

You know the machine I mean, right? That little diagnostic machine that car mechanics now have, because every car is run by computers, and they can't just open the hood and look any more? So they have to hook up your car to this little gizmo that apparently costs hundreds of thousands of dollars. And that means that every time they use it on your car, they charge you for the use of that machine. Like, 100 bucks, or 150, or whatever. The reasoning here is "this cost us so much to buy, that we have to get that money back somehow, and the only real way to do it is to charge people every time we use it on their car".

Does this seem weird to anyone else? If you are in the business of repairing cars, then you would want to do the best job possible. Much like any other business. This piece of equipment helps you do that job. It makes you better at your job. It saves you time, by telling you what is wrong in seconds, instead of forcing you to take apart an engine. The garage with this device is better equipped than the garage without it, therefore it is in their best interests to pick one up. Shouldn't that be the reason to have one, rather than another way to gouge people with cars?

By this logic, there should be many more costs we incur in daily life for the same reasons. When you go to the hairdresser's, and she has a fancy new set of clippers that reduce your haircut from twenty minutes to twelve, you should be paying six bucks extra for that haircut to cover the 300 dollars it cost her to buy those clippers. When you go to Subway, they should charge you an extra four bucks to have your sub toasted. Those toasters can't be cheap. Perhaps you should be charged an extra 75 bucks to have your fridge delivered, since it is all on this brand new, really neat but really expensive computer system. An extra nine bucks per burrito because Taco Bell has a fancy new flash fryer, or an extra tewlve bucks per Big Mac because McDonalds has to pay for that giant new marketing campaign.

What did mechanics do in the old days? Were we being charged an extra $3.50 per visit to pay for that new wrench or socket set? I doubt it. This tool is to help you do your job better, so you will earn my business, not something to drive up the cost of that business. This device seems to be the only thing in the world that charges you for someone else to use it. And what happens when, after the 1,000th customer pays 100 bucks for the diagnostic check? It has now been paid off, are you now going to get the use of this machine for free? Back to the "doctors", do you have to pay 500 bucks because they are using the MRI machine to diagnose you? It must be expensive to buy that machine, so shouldn't you pay for it? Or do you just go into the hospital and pay nothing, the same as you do with everything in our system, and trust that the reason they use the MRI on you is that that is the best way to diagnose your problem? Well, in Canada you don't pay. I suppose you actually would in the states.

I'm back!

OK, pending the Monday nighter, those of you who took my advice in the football games of yesterday went 11-2. With Dallas hammering Buffalo tonight, I will be 12-2 on the week. Maybe I really am amazing at prognostication. New Orleans let me down, but still played a fairly good game. And my own eliminator pick was wrong. Because I love my Packers, I had everything on the line in that game, and I was crushed going to bed last night. If only I had picked ANY other game instead of that one!

Postscript: Dallas did NOT hammer Buffalo on Monday night. In fact, they barely squeaked out a victory. This is disappointing, since I was pretty wrong about the obvious win in store for the Cowboys, but what a finish! I'm sure the headlines in the Dallas equivalent of the Ottawa Sunwill be all over this "Folk Hero" business. Thank God my dog woke me up at 11:30 soI could see the end of that game. I hate the Cowboys, but that's one of the best finishes I've ever seen.

Sunday, October 7, 2007

More football advice on which I advise you not to bet your mortgage.

OK. I'm trying this once more. If I fail to get at least nine or ten of the 14 games right, I will quit prognosticating altogether. Although it was very helpful for me last week to have a record somewhere of the picks I had made, just so I could reference them while I watched the games. This also made watching the games far more difficult than it needed to be. Anyway, here goes.

Miami at Houston: Miami has looked very bad. They will win a few games this year, they are not a team that can go 0-16, but those wins will take some building. This is not the game. Houston was embarrassed last week. Take the Texans at home.

Atlanta at Tennessee: Tennessee is favoured by almost 9 points. This is too much against an Atlanta squad who proved they were better than people thought last week. Take the Titans, but not by nine.

Detroit at Washington: Washington is favoured at home, and rightly so. The Lions have not won anything away from home in the last four years or so. While Detroit has looked good on home turf this year, they have not been able to come out with a good road effort. Look for the Lions to treat this one as somewhat of a statement game - if they are legit, if they are going to have a shot at the playoffs, they have to win some on the road against average teams. I think Detroit will cover, but Washington will win.

New York Jets at the Giants: Both are basically playing on their home field, so there really is no home team here. But the Giants have looked much better than the Jets, and if last week was any indication, the Jets are one of the worst teams in football. Take the Giants to win, and the points.

Cleveland at New England: Duh. The Patriots will win, and they will win by more than 20 for the fifth straight time this year.

Carolina at New Orleans: The Saints, while they have been terrible, are coming off a bye week and just might be able to turn their season around. It is unlikely, but this game is step one. With two weeks to go over tapes of the Panthers, New Orleans must be able to find the holes (and there are many) in Carolina's game plan. Take the Saints.

Seattle at Pittsburgh: The Steelers are favoured, because both teams are 3-1 and the Steelers are at home. I like Pittsburgh in this one because they are 3-1 in the AFC, which is much much tougher than being 3-1 in the NFC. Take the Steelers.

Jacksonville at Kansas City: The Chiefs finally got their running game going and pulled off a major upset of the Chargers last week. It was only a major upset because no one really believed the Chargers were a bad team, and most of us thought the Chiefs were lousy. Turns out the Chargers ARE bad, and the Chiefs are OK. Jacksonville is favoured here, but I don't think they will cover. They will, however, win, since they are rested coming off the bye.

Arizona at St. Louis: The over/under on this game must be huge. Neither team knows how to play defence. Stephen Jackson will have a huge game, and so will Murt Warnert or whoever plays QB for the Cards. The Cards have more offensive firepower this year, however. Take Arizona.

Tampa Bay at Indianapolis: Another no-brainer. Indy will win this one going away. The Bucs are not as good as their record would suggest.

San Diego at Denver: Both these teams could easily be 0-4 right now. It is a divisional game, and anything could happen. I think Denver is falling faster than the Chargers are, and I think San Diego will win. They will certainly cover, because if the Broncos DO win, it will be by less than three points.

Baltimore at San Francisco: Ravens are favoured by about 4, San Fran is starting to look really shaky, and the Ravens defence will have a pretty easy time shutting down this Niners offence. No, they are not as good as people think. This Ravens defence has some flaws. But they are more than good enough to beat San Francisco.

Chicago at Green Bay: What better way to say "this team is for real" than knocking off the defending NFC champions to improve to 5-0? And has there ever been a guy who torched the Bears worse than Favre? I took this in my eliminator pool, even though it is a divisional game, partly because I still think it is a lock, and partly because I can't use New England or Dallas any more.

Dallas at Buffalo: I know that Buffalo is at home. I know "anything can happen on a Monday night". This is still the easiest game of the week. The Cowboys will win, and they will cover the spread, and they will absolutely murder the Bills, bringing them back down to earth after last week's euphoric exed out win over the lousy Jets. Expect to be reminded of so many Super Bowls of years gone by.

OK. That's it. As I suggested earlier, please don't bet your mortgage payment. And, as I said before, if I don't get 9 or 10 right, I will stop doing these posts forever. But of course that will NOT happen.