Monday, July 9, 2007

Weather WarninG!

I saw a great news report yesterday. Apparently there were tornados heading into Ontario, and people were told to be on the lookout. If you lived in Kitchener or the surrounding areas, you were to take cover in your basement, or at least find the lowest point in your house. Ride out the storm, see, and stay away from the windows, it was going to be dangerous. There were a littany of reasons for the danger - flying debris...other types of fyling debris...and then a third kind of flying debris. This one could break the glass in your windows, that glass could end up inside YOU, and you might die. Stands to reason.

The second part of this news report was all about how you TOO could be on television! All you have to do is take pictures of the storm! (From the bowels of your basement, no doubt.) Just snap away, send them to Global News, Toronto, attention: Darwin Awards Division. Your pictures could end up on the TV, and you could set your VCR so that you could tape it...sidebar, does anyone even own a VCR any more? And then you could transfer that VCR tape to DVD, and keep it for years to c ome, so that someday your grandkids could see it. They would need proof, of course. Just telling your grandkids that Grandpa took a photo of a storm and that photo was on THE TV doesn't fly. They would just think it's one of Grandpa's tall tales, like the time he met Wilt Chamberlain at a gay bar or the time he fought a Yeti in a Jean Coutu parking lot. But no! You will have the photographic evidence to present, and the grandkids will know you're not some kind of faker. Bonus points: If you can get a picture of your grandkids actually being swept up BY the tornado, we'll come to your house and interview you! Then you could tape that in case you ever get more grandkids...

3 comments:

  1. Eric!
    I"m so disappointed that this is the best you have for us on a Monday morning.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Eric!
    I"m so disappointed that this is the best you have for us on a Monday morning.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Gee, Andy Warhol was right. 15 minutes of fame. "Gee my little timothy was out walking the dog. It's a big dog so I didn't think he'd get sucked up... but he did. Man that kid could scream like a baby. Why in my day...

    ReplyDelete