Wednesday, July 4, 2007

My dog is a weirdo.

My dog sucks. She is a toy poodle, her name is Muffin, and she barks at everything and everybody. That being said, I really enjoy her, and she's cute as hell. She has grown on me wuite a bit. Which is too bad, because she will likely die in the next couple of years. She is very old, you see. Her hearing is going, and her vision seems to be faltering as well. Much like the dead pigeons and starlings outside my office, she seems to have difficulty with windows and their clarity. Twice today she has banged her head directly into the sliding door trying to walk outside. So I put up the screen, and she climbed it trying to get at a squirrel.

She's tiny and has white curly hair, and in human years she's an octagenarian. So it's like living with your little, old, demented grandma. A grandma who chases squirrels. A grandma who, instead of owning cats, chases them. And I'm always saying "Grandma, those squirrels are bigger than you are. They will eat YOU if you catch them." And she realizes I am right. Then forgets ten minutes later and goes off again. In fact, it is just like living with Grandma. Only she licks me more.


  1. Dogs walking into doors: use electrical tape (flurescent if poss) on the glass at the dogs eye level. It has the added benefit for saving your head when you're crawling out of the door more banged head.

    My dog used to sit under a glass coffee table, sit up, bang his head and lie back down shaking it. 2 minutes later he'd do the exact same. He'd keep this up for hours.

    Border Collies are meant to be smart. I bought a defective one.

  2. Toy poodles are meant to be cute and conveniently football-sized, not smart, I guess.

  3. I once walked through my sister's screen door one Canada Day years ago. I blame it on the beer. It was funny as hell. At least I thought so. My sister didn't think it was so funny.