Monday, February 12, 2007

Voting. Always voting.

So if you were to host an art exhibit, would you want to give it a title as well? Of course you would. You would want to protect the artistic integrity of the display, and you would want to make sure that the title of that display reflected the exact thrust of your artistic vision.

I am no exception. However, I exist in the stratosphere of the Platinum Nation, which is a democracy. A forced democracy, in that the democratic process has been forced on me. Several excellent suggestions were put forward for the title of my art exhibit, including a few of my own. I felt these suggestions embodied the notions of class, artistic endeavour, and were indicative of the nature of the exhibit, that being ass painting. I thought "Tushing the Envelope" was excellent.

But I was voted down, both without my consent and without my knowledge. Apparently Doc grabbed the 17-18 titles he liked most, and put them up in the Platinum Nation section of our website so people could vote on them. I am mortified. Can you imagine if other artists had to put up with this sort of forced democracy?

Remember when Michelangelo created that statue of "Willie With the Wang"? Or when Da Vinci painted "Lopsided Mona"? Who can forget Munsch's "Look How Wide I can Open My Mouth"?

This is to what I am now reduced. I must take my lumps and allow the public at large to name my exhibit, and I must bear with the choice, whatever it may be. And of course, the suggestions are mostly brutal. The ones that are leading right now are "Dark Side of the Moon" and "Bad Moon Rising". Either the members of Platinum Nation can't think past classic rock, or they are unnaturally obsessive about the word "moon". Or both. I don't see "Moon over My Hammy" on the list.

So...coming soon to the Parkdale Gallery (early March): A display of posterior art that will revolutionize the art community and creat a brand new scene of artistic vitality in our community. With a crappy title.


  1. Most artists that struggle against the Establishment find creative was to protest. How about getting a picture of Doc and Woody and using that as your "base" canvas upon which you can add your creative expression.

  2. Proveniebam has a good idea.

    Or perhaps the first painting could be titled "From a butt to a butthead", and dedicate it to Doc. :)

  3. Hmmm...those ARE creative ways to express my frustrations through artistic means. Love it! Maybe a couple of protraits of my employers...

  4. Or you could call your exhibition "Butt Out."

  5. Posterior Reflections... or Montezuma's Revenge. :)

  6. I don't want to encourage people to quit smoking! Too political...and hypocritical.

  7. Okay then, how about: "No Woody's were used in this exhibition"