Monday, February 26, 2007

Turn the knob to suck...the Oscars are on.

Why do the Academy Awards suck to such a large degree? Is it because they go on so long, or because no one has seen the nominated movies, or because there is a red carpet and people with microphones walking on it? Maybe all of these things.

The question "who are you wearing?" has ruined the two hours leading up to the Oscars. No, that's not true, those two hours were always garbage, this has just made it even worse. And the length of the Oscar ceremony is only so bad because there are 26 awards given out at the ceremony. People care about six of these awards.

Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actor/Actress and Supporting Actor/Actress. That's it. The only people who are about Best Lighting are those whose family members are nominated. And since when they win, they thank every one of those family members, couldn't they just get those awards in their living rooms and then make some phone calls?

You can tell how significant an award is based on how many times someone has won that award. If a lady is up there to grab her 19th Oscar for Costume Design, then she's likely one of only six people who actually design costumes for Hollywood. No one cares. And the other categories that people DO care about are very much overrated.

The ability to stick a "Best Picture Winner" sticker on the cover of your DVD will in fact move many more copies. No question. But does anyone really trust the Academy to choose the picture that really deserves to win? How many of us, with the benefit of hindsight, can really say that Shakespeare in Love was better than Saving Private Ryan? I would say that no one would agree to that now, but that's because we all saw both movies AFTER the awards show was over.

Elizabeth Taylor winning an Oscar for Butterfield 8? That might be top twenty worst movies of all time. And how many more movies will star Jennifer Hudson? How many Oscars are in her future? My guess is three, and zero. But she has an Oscar. Big deal. Stanley Kubrick - no Oscars. Peter O'Toole - no Oscars. Would you rather have Peter O'Toole's career, or Marisa Tomei's? Yeah.

At least Scorcese has his now - I read an article in the Sun yesterday that suggested he was LEAST deserving of the award for this movie, The Departed. Their point was that The Departed was based on a Hong Kong movie, and copied some of their shots almost exactly. So what? The Departed also directly quoted a camera shot from The Third Man, a classic from the 50s starring Orson Welles. It quoted from a 1930s movie called "M", a Fritz Lang classic starring Peter Lorre. But it is the greatest undercover cop movie ever made, and Scorcese did it. This one deserved Best Picture as well.

Alan Arkin, on the other hand, gets his Best Supporting Actor based on his career achievement, rather than his work in Little Miss Sunshine as such. Steve Carrell is much better in that film, and deserves the nomination even more than Arkin. By extension, he deserves the Oscar more as well. And maybe will get one someday.

I'm tired of the Oscars. Next year, I'll be back watching.


  1. Eric... "Turn the knob to suck...the Oscars are on" is posted twice. Does it really suck that bad that it has to be posted twice? :)

  2. Rush should have won an oscar :P

    Nah, show was ok. I'm glad an Inconvientet Truth won two, that was good.

  3. That's true. An Inconvenient Truth should hav e won. And we got to see a bit more of Al Gore, which was good.