Friday, February 9, 2007

The titular art exhibit

We have become increasingly irritated over the last few months at the contingent in Ottawa who are complaining about lack of funding for the arts. I remember having virtually the same conversation with my mom when I was about eleven. She was complaining, at the time, that the Senators were getting a ton of money from the city. Money that should go to the arts, (mostly because she hated sports). My mom plays in the Ottawa Symphony Orchestra, which (I think) gets no money from the government. And I said I didn't think they should. They pack the house for every show, the musicians are semi-professional, and they ought to be able to come out of the year having made a profit. My point at the time was that the Senators, while they did make an enormous profit, and were clearly self-sufficient, needed some government help in the form of tax breaks to compete with the American teams and ensure that Ottawa would be able to keep their hockey team.

And Ottawa needs a hockey team. We also need a symphony orchestra and an art gallery. These things keep the local economy moving forward. What we don't need is a giant inflatable banana over Texas. What good does that do us, and why are we footing the bill? Do we NEED someone who takes pictures of other art from around the world and displays them? And do we need to PAY for it? It seems to me that the money we should invest in the artistic community should go to people who are trying to establish themselves as artists, and to the gallerys that might display their art. Yet our government waits until people have already established themselves, then they give them a tiny handout to keep on keeping on. How does that help? And if you need handouts to continue being an artist, how successful can you be to begin with?

OK...what this all boils down to is that I'm going to have a gallery showing of the greatest art in Ottawa - why greatest? Because it's easy as hell, takes 6 minutes a canvas, costs $3.18 per painting, and it looks as good to me as some of the artwork I see hanging around town. The Parkdale Gallery, (formerly the Ugly Club beside the Carleton Tavern), at a date to be determined (but early March, most likely) will be hosting an exhibit of my ass painting for two weeks, after which we will auction off said paintings for CHEO. Now all we need is a title. And it has to sould classy so Ottawa's artsy community may actually show up and then get treated to a live show. A few good suggestions have been thrown out there - The Good, the Butt and the Ugly is OK, but too obvious. Tushing the Envelope I like...The Ottawa International Fine Arse's a work in progress. Still taking suggestions!


  1. "Assistance Not Required"

    "Social Assistance"

    "Some Assembly Required"

  2. "Bare Faced Cheek"
    "CHEO's Bottom Line"
    "Seat of Art"
    "Foul Stroke"
    "Sumo Sketches"
    "CanvAss for Cheo"
    "Kiss my Art"
    "Smart Ass"
    "Bums for Beds"
    "CompAssion for Cheo"

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  5. I like 'em all...we can definitely work with Seat of Art and Some Assembly Required.