Monday, February 19, 2007

Ready to get my butt in gear.

I have fulfilled my commission, and painted 5 masterworks of posterior artistry. Parkdale Gallery, March 5th, is going to be the site of one of the most revolutionary exhibits in the art world of Ottawa, and perhaps the world.

I'm not one to toot my own horn, of course, but my butt-paintings are stunningly brilliant. I was so pleased with my abilities on Sunday evening that I celebrated in a big way. First of all, I stopped drinking beer, which I had been doing all day, and I put on some tunes. I stood in my basement, listening to the London Philharmonic Orchestra playing Sibelius' Finlandia, while I really took in the enormity of what I had just accomplished.

For art critics and people with just a passing interest alike, I think the Parkdale Gallery exhibit will be a must-see, whether you love art or not. I think twenty years from now, it will be one of those events where people will want to say "I was there". Much like the moon landing, the Beatles on Ed Sullivan and Paul Henderson's goal, this is an event in cultural history that is not to be missed. See you all there!


  1. What about the poor dude that originated this art-form. It's a 'tissue' of lies. Haven't you 'stoolen' it from him? Are you not a 'bum bandit?' He 'cracked' open the art form. You don't hear him 'trumping' away about how great he is. He's the 'star' of the medium, you're a mere 'bottom' feeder. 'Butt' seriously get over your Tyra-Banks-esque ego of your abuttabilities. Sheesh :-)

  2. Holy cow - do you write headlines for the Ottawa Sun? If you don't, you certainly should. With a grasp of tenuous double-entendres like that, you would be a shoo-in. You could write the headline for my exhibit: Local Artist Puts the Suck in Success!