Tuesday, February 6, 2007

More fun things to do with Tyra Banks that aren't sexual.

Some more ideas...I know most of us don't drink at the same time as we watch daytime TV...at least, I don't think so. But there may come a day where you need to, and I'm just trying to help.

Every time the "expert of questionable credentials" responds to Tyra using unnecessarily big words to make them seem more authoritative on a subject, take a drink. Example: "Yes Tyra, I concur. You see, we are observing a trend among today's youth toward a greater dichotomy in that very area, and it could have very dire repercussions in the foreseeable future." If Tyra then nods as though she knows what that "expert" is talking about, but you can tell for a fact that she doesn't, finish your beer.

If she makes reference to how she looks in the morning, ro without makeup on, take a drink. Every time she laughs at one of her own jokes, take a drink. If you can tell it was supposed to be a joke, take TWO drinks. And if the joke makes YOU laugh...stop drinking.

And if you turn on the Tyra Banks show, and it's an episode where she dresses up in a "fat suit" or in "ugly person" makeup to see how the "other side" lives, you must drink everything in front of you by the time the hour is up. It's the only way to make it through one of those painful episodes!

8 comments:

  1. Good god, man, are you trying to KILL us?! "Dichotomy"? That sounds rather unpleasant*.

    *(c)2007 Eric the Intern

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  2. Eric,

    For god's sake, just get up and walk away... Walk away and don't look back.

    Take up sewing. Shovel the laneway. Shovel the neighbor's laneway. Scub the white grout between the tiles in the bathroom with a toothbrush.

    But for the love of god, do not watch this crap anymore.... Not even the lovely golden ale that is being consumed during this endavour deserves the company of the wench known as Tyra.

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  3. I see your girlfriend has started your pussification course. Beware dude...it *starts* with daytime TV and from there you're doing the dishes and apologizing for farting.

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  4. I NEVER apologize for farting...in point of fact, I still revel in it. But the dishes, they have become something for me to do to AVOID daytime TV. I can't decide which is more an indicator of my pussification. Sitting and watching and drinking, or running out to do HER errands so as to avoid watching.

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  5. Doing dishes to "avoid" daytime TV... shopping for feminine products to "avoid" daytime TV... don't you see? She's won. Women are masters of no-lose setups.

    Still being able to play Guitar Hero for hours on end I see that there's still hope for you.

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  6. There IS hope, but it doesn't come until next football season where I again get to exert some masculine dominance. On the plus side, I can watch all the hockey I want without battles, since she likes hockey. Now, if only I could get her to run MY errands while I watch Sunday afternoon football...I might be dreaming too big.

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