Thursday, February 8, 2007

Diapers, wigs and more ass painting.

Eventful show this morning...apparently Doc doesn't like being called a "mouth breather". Who knew?

So some lunatic astronaut lady in the States drove 900+ miles wearing a diaper in order to murder some romantic rival of hers. The diaper was so that she didn't have to stop to pee, the garbage bags, rubber hose, mace, rubber mallett and BB gun were for kidnapping and I guess murder. Fun! So of course the emails pour in - let's get Eric in a diaper! That's always funny.

No. It is not funny. It's obnoxious. Sometimes that works, but having been in a diaper 5 times or so on the show, it's been done. In fact, we tried to get this over with a while ago. The first couple of years, I wore no diapers, and I wore no pink tutus. Yet all I heard from people was "remember that time you were in the diaper?" or, "remember when you were in the pink tutu?" I had never been. So we decided to get it all over with at once.

I went to various busy intersections in Ottawa and danced in a diaper. In the winter, I went outdoors and took figure skating lessons wearing a pink tutu. It's done, right? Nope. People still love the diaper. Doc is as tired of the "diaper" stuff as I am, so he ignored it. Then he made fun of my art. And I called him a mouth breather. And he made me put on the diaper. And a wig and a trenchcoat, and a full crazy-astronaut disguise. Which was fine. I walked through the halls of the office, no one paid much attention. They've seen stuff like this so often, they just figure it's Thursday and go on about their buisiness. But Doc made me go to Julie's office. THAT was scary.

Julie is our office manager. I think. I don't really know what everyone in the office actually does, I just know them by name and appearance. Sometimes not even that. After all, I'm gone every morning at 9. But I know Julie. Julie is the lady who frightens me every time one of our bands or artists shows up for the show early and I have not been downstairs to meet them. She's the one who makes me feel like I have violated the most sacrosanct of rules when I neglect to sign in the whole band. Even when Dan Akroyd came to the studio, I had to sign him in for fear of reprisal, because wouldn't my face have been red had he been the guy out to bomb us.

But more than anything, Julie has never laughed or even cracked a smile when seeing me in the latest ridiculous outfit. When I'm wearing hip-waders or a chicken suit or a giant thong, I avoid Julie because I know I'm going to get that "I disapprove and am disgusted as well" look. Well, got that look again! And the quick "I'm disgusted, go before I file a complaint" hand motion to beat it out of her office. Done! I'm gone. Now Jeff Brown is upset, because, as my boss, he is going to have to deal with all the repercussions and provide the explanations for this later today. Sorry Jeff. Not my idea! It was that mouth-breather Doc!

3 comments:

  1. Yup, the diaper thing has gotten old. It's time to retire the diapers.

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  2. You start off in diapers and you end in diapers... I don't see the big deal in it all....

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  3. Exactly. There is nothing terribly interesting about someone wearing diapers. Unless there's a really good reason for it, it's done. But somehow, at least once a week, someone calls in, or emails, or leaves us a message with a suggestion for something for me to do and in it I'm wearing a diaper again. Whee!

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