Monday, January 29, 2007

Why do they make juice boxes so hard to open?

I discovered this morning that I am either a complete moron, or I have the motor skills of a six-year-old. I was trying to open a juice box on my way to work. In the car. And Kool-Aid doesn't make juice boxes like boxes any more. They make them like bags. Juice bags. And you have to stab them very hard with the straw to make any progress.

So I showed up at work, covered in blue Kool-Aid. Delicious, but it stains. There goes my Bubba Gump shirt. At least I was wearing my bum-style jogging pants that I didn't care about at all. But what is Kool-Aid thinking with these bizarre packages? If I can't open it (and it's not just in the car - at the best of times, I am barely able to bust into these things) then how do they expect children to open them at school?

But luck was with me today. I arrived at work to find a care package from Sinister Choppers, a local motorcycle company (I think), complete with photos of motorcycles, a nice letter, and a new shirt! No one knew that I had looked like the sloppiest person on Earth moments later. I just looked like a skull-shirt wearing motorcycle afficionado. Much better for my image. Well...I was still wearing jogging pants.

I must call Sinister Choppers to thank them for my image-saving shirt and to find out what, exactly, they do.


  1. I haven't seen the Kool-Aid drink bags, but this reminded me of when I was a kid growing up in Quebec. You could buy these drink bags called "Sip Sacs" at the corner store. They had lemonade, orange, and grape flavours. Stabbing the straw in them was definitely a two-handed procedure. The best part about them was when you finished the drink. You could blow up the bag, and then stab the straw all the way through the bag sealing the air inside. Place it on the ground and then stomp on it, causing a HUGE bang. Oh the fun. :)

  2. Hmm...I think that would work with the Kool-Aid ones too...often I have accidentally stabbed them all the way through. I am a simpleton, frankly.