Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Microwaves and ass-painting.

So tomorrow I will be doing one of two things. I will either be experimenting with some crazy ideas involving a microwave, or I will be painting with my ass. Either way, fun times are in store for me. After reading a list of "dumbest warning labels of the year", we decided to try one.

The dumbest warning labes include things like "don't put people inside washing machine", and "don't use microwave to dry your cell phone". Obviously, we chose to enact the cell phone in a microwave, since I'm too fat to fit in a washing machine. What's great about these warning labels is that they have to be based on actual incidents, things people have actually done. And possibly they have sued successfully after losing a limb in a washing machine accident. Who knows.

The ass-painting came from a story about an art teacher who was fired from his job when the school board found out that on the side he sells paintings that he makes with his own ass. He dips his ass (and sometimes his genitals) into paint, then uses them to create "art". Now, it sounds ridiculous, but he makes up to 900 bucks a painting to do this, so it must be reasonably profitable. If only mine will be that good. And it WILL! Perhaps I'll have a second career after all.

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